


It Is Ahead

by riselioness



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apparently there are other ways to do this than writing 28000 words of fan fiction?, Ben Solo Lives, Boundaries, Even though he's Adam Driver?, F/M, Forgiveness, Gen, How can you have both justice and forgiveness?, How the heck do you have boundaries when you're a dyad in the Force?, I'm not sure I'll ever fully know what I think of it but this helped, Just some light fluffy themes like that, Justice, Light Side Ben Solo, Lots of personal development and friendship goodness too, Post-TRoS, Putting things right, Reconciliation, Redeemed Ben Solo, Right?, Should you date your co-dyad when he's a mass murderer and a gaslighter?, This isn't just Rey and Ben stuff though, Turning back to the Light, What even is forgiveness anyway?, anyway, boundaries in a relationship, conflicted about Reylo, dealing with the past, people change, this is my attempt to try and work out what I think about Reylo, turning to the Light is just the start, what does redemption actually mean?, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riselioness/pseuds/riselioness
Summary: Rey saves Ben’s life on Exegol, but him turning back to the Light is just the start. Ben must face the consequences of his past actions, and Rey must work out how she feels about the man who has hunted her across the galaxy. Only in confronting the past, each other and themselves can they understand the present, and find their place in the future.A/N: Since TLJ was released I’ve felt very conflicted about Reylo, and my feelings about TROS are…mixed, to say the least. This fic is my attempt to explore what I think about Reylo, and make some kind of peace with many aspects of the sequel trilogy.My aim was to honour canon as far as possible (apart from the Ben Solo lives AU), both in terms of events and the emotions experienced as I understand them. I’d be interested to see if it holds together for anyone apart from me (and even I’m not 100% convinced by my own conclusion), so any feedback is welcome!(This began as the one-shot “First Steps”, which I posted shortly after TROS was released, and which became (after edits) the first chapter of this fic.)
Relationships: Finn & Rey & Rose Tico, Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey & Rose Tico, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 35





	1. Out of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you SO MUCH to mrstater/khaleesa for the beta. I couldn’t have wished for a better first time experience of working with a beta. Any mistakes and faults are my very much my own!
> 
> Thanks also to you and sweet_christabel for your kind feedback months ago before I decided to post this (better late than never?!).

She felt him slipping away, losing his grip on the world, his essence dissolving to become one with the Force. His presence was fading away, he was letting go, she was losing him, he was leaving her, he was going - 

Rey plunged after him, chasing him out of this life. She found him, and she _held_.

He was heavy, heavier than the weight of his body in her arms. The Force was pulling him away, taking him from her, and _she would not let it_.

_Ben!_ The cry ripped out of her.

He heard, turning to her in his spirit while his body lay motionless. But he was still being pulled away.

_Ben, don’t do this! Don’t leave me!_ Her body was crying, and her spirit felt the tears burn. She tightened her grip on him, but she could feel him slipping away.

_Please, Ben! I don’t want to do this without you!_ She felt him wavering. _Ben,_ she whispered. _Come back to me._

Rey felt it in him, the turning back towards the world, the desire to return, the urge to breathe again. But he was powerless to fight against the Force summoning him to become one with it.

_Rey._

As he said her name, she knew that she would not let him go. She gathered up everything she had, everything she was, and with every last bit of the strength he had given her, she gathered him close to herself and _pulled_.

The strain was like nothing she’d ever felt before. When she’d struggled with him for the lightsaber in Snoke’s throne room, or for the transport on Pasaana, she'd been wrestling with a person. Even when resisting the Emperor she had been fighting a man whose will had directed those terrible dark powers. But _this_ \- she was dragging Ben against the current of the Force itself.

_Please_ , she whispered. _Please_. She didn’t know whether she was pleading with him or with the Force.

But it was no use. She was strong - she knew now just how strong - but this was beyond her.

_Please_ , Rey said a third time.

And was answered.

She felt it first as the touch of Leia’s presence. Then Luke. Then the man who’d spoken to her in the vision from the lightsaber. Then, one by one, all the Jedi who stood with her when she fought Palpatine came back to her. She couldn’t see them, but she could feel their strength filling her - and filling Ben.

_We’re a dyad_ , she said - to Ben, to the Jedi, to the Force itself. _What use is that if one of us is dead? We live or die together_.

Ben was steady now, no longer falling away, but not returning, either.

_Ben!_

_Rey. We live or die together._

She felt the surge as he joined the struggle, fighting to rejoin the world. They were stronger together, but it still wasn’t enough.

_Help us!_

Everything stopped in an instant. They were weightless, they were no one, there was nothing.

Only the Force.

_You live or die together._

His heart beat. His lungs filled with air. He opened his eyes.

He smiled.

“We live or die together.”

***

She felt as weak as a day old lothkitten, and he could barely stand, but somehow they made it out. Holding each other up, they half-supported, half-dragged each other out of the cave. When Rey saw Luke’s X-wing she collapsed again, fighting the despair that swamped her.

“The X-wing,” she said hoarsely. “It’ll only take one of us.”

Ben put an arm around her waist and hauled her to her feet, almost falling himself as he did so. “This way.”

They stumbled through freezing smoke as lightning crackled and debris burned up in the atmosphere above them. When Ben fell, Rey dropped to her knees beside him, pulling at his arm, pushing him and crying tears of frustration at her inability to lift him. 

“Ben,” she sobbed, “ _Ben_. Get up! We’re nearly there.” It was a lie, she had no idea where they were going, but he had to get up, he _had_ to.

Eventually he managed to get to his hands and knees, and they crawled forward together, inch by painful inch.

She didn’t see it until they were almost there; a small, squat passenger transport. Later she would take in its battered appearance and wonder how he’d even managed to get it off Kef Bir, but right now she could barely think at all.

Somehow, they made it into the transport and found themselves in the tiny cockpit. Rey stared at the controls, for the first time in her life unable to take them in. 

Ben squeezed past her and collapsed into the pilot’s seat, gasping for breath. “Where to?”

She blinked at him. _Where?_ To the Resistance on Ajan Kloss of course. But through the fog in her mind she had the nebulous realisation that returning directly to the Resistance base with the Supreme Leader of the First Order might not be a good idea. She inched herself into the co-pilot’s seat and stared at the controls again, willing herself to think. 

“Iskaad,” she finally said. It was on the way to Ajan Kloss, but too far away for them to betray the Resistance if they were traced, and too far for the Resistance to detect them before they made themselves known. “We’ll rest there, before -”

Before what? She shook her head. Escape now, think later.

Ben nodded. “Iskaad.” 

As he input the coordinates and primed the thruster for take-off, Rey’s memory kicked in. Her hands moved over the controls almost without thinking, flicking switches, pressing buttons, and turning dials. 

“Ready?” he asked, and she nodded. 

“Ready.”

It was a rough flight, the worst Rey had known, and more than once she thought she would pass out. Ben _did_ pass out, nearly, but she grabbed his shoulder and gripped him with her consciousness - _how?_ \- and he stayed with her, just. But he was woozy and his reactions were slow, and halfway through the flight she made him swap places. She brought them to planetfall in a clumsy manoeuvre that shook them both from head to toe, but they were safe. For now.

She didn’t know how long they stayed there, semi-conscious and slumped over the controls, but eventually she came to enough to wonder what kind of place they’d fled to. It was dark outside, a brown, murky kind of darkness that seemed almost welcoming after Exegol. She tried to run the climate scans but the scanner was broken, and she wasn’t going to risk them escaping the Emperor only to die in a toxic atmosphere. Safer to stay on the ship.

Ben hadn’t moved since he collapsed over the controls, but she checked his pulse, and it seemed normal. When she shook his shoulder he gave a little grunt and turned his head away, which reassured her.

Rey reached out to him in the Force and smiled as she felt the same warmth she had felt when she woke in his arms. Then her consciousness touched his, and she recoiled at the images and feelings that flashed through her mind in an instant. Ben sat bolt upright, and their eyes locked. For a moment she saw herself through his eyes, face covered in mud and blood, eyes wide in fear.

She jumped to her feet and backed away until she hit the cockpit wall, then the moment passed and she was herself again. Something beeped; she spun round to shut off the controls she had activated bumping into them. When she turned back, Ben was staring unseeing out the window, hands clenched on the arms of the co-pilot’s seat.

She rubbed her forehead - as if that would help - and tried to work out what she had sensed. Memories, she realised. Bad ones. Mostly his - the raised green lightsaber, Snoke’s torments, murdering his father, Rey’s rejection - but there were some of hers in there too. Her mother’s scream. Ben’s betrayal.

Rey closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to call up good memories. Leia’s pride in when she grasped a new aspect of her training. BB-8’s happy chirps as he followed her around. The relief when Finn came back for her on Starkiller base.

Slowly Rey regained her calm, and she felt fully herself again. When she opened her eyes, Ben was looking at her, full of wonder and longing.

“What did you do?” he said, his voice shaking. “How did you do that?”

It took a moment for her to realise what he meant. “Good memories,” she said. “My friends. The things I’ve done for good. The things that make me _me_.”

It didn’t take Force sensitivity for her to feel the waves of anguish that swept him. “I don’t have any of that.”

“You do. You _do_ ,” Rey repeated as he shook his head. She wanted to help him, but she was weary to her bones and had no idea how.

She dragged her mind back to more physical problems. They were both wounded and exhausted. When had she had last eaten or drunk? When had he? Her years scavenging on Jakku had taught her how to survive on the bare minimum when necessary, but they had also taught her not to do this if it _wasn’t_ necessary. 

“Is there food on this ship?” she asked. “Water?”

She watched the same realisation dawn in Ben's eyes. “Supplies in the cabin. I hope.” 

He limped his way through the ship, and she followed slowly. They half-sat, half-collapsed by a cupboard that turned out - wonder of wonders - to contain basic rations. They took turns sipping stale water from a canister and managed to force down ration bars so dry they crumbled when they bit into them.

As she ate, Rey felt some of her strength returning and found she could think more clearly. What now? She knew Ben had returned to the Light - she could feel it pulsing through him, strong and clear. But there was still darkness and pain, she felt that, too. It didn’t consume him as it had before, but it was enough to frighten her deeply.

In these last bewildering hours she'd been filled with such joy to find him as Ben Solo that she'd forgotten what he'd done as Kylo Ren. The meeting of their minds had brought it all back - his invasion of her mind on Starkiller Base, calling her nothing, hunting her from Pasaana to Kijimi to Kef Bir.

Ben finished his ration bar and took a last swallow of water before handing her the canister. Their hands nearly touched but she changed her grip just in time. She finished it off and put the empty canister down, the _clink_ very loud in the silence between them. They faced each other over the empty wrappers, cross-legged and waiting.

He was the one to break the silence. “What happens now?”

Rey made her decision. “Tomorrow morning, I’m going to the Resistance base. I’d like you to come with me.”

Ben was still for a moment, then nodded.

“You know I don’t know what they’ll do?" Rey said. "How they’ll react?”

“ _I_ know exactly how they’ll react. If you can keep them from shooting me dead immediately, that would - help.”

She realised her heart was racing. “You don’t have to come with me. I’d like you to, but if you won’t I can drop you somewhere en route.”

“I’m coming with you. Or, if you change your mind, I’ll go to the Resistance base alone.”

“Why?”

Ben picked up a ration bar wrapper and began to play with it. Then he realised what he was doing and tossed it away. “Rey, I’ve chosen to leave Kylo Ren behind, to be Ben Solo again. But Kylo Ren isn’t a different person, however much I wish he was. He’s me. He was me. Everything he did, I did. And I’ve done terrible, terrible things.” He shuddered.

“I’ve chosen the Light," he continued. "And I’m never going back to the Dark, ever. I’ll die before I go back. I have no idea how to do this, how to be Ben Solo again. But I do know that it doesn’t start with me running away. It starts with me facing up to what I’ve done, come what may. It starts with me coming home. To where my parents would want me to be.”

Tears were streaming down Rey's face. She wiped them away with her fist. “I won’t let them kill you. I don’t know what they’ll do, but - I won’t let them do that. We live or die together, remember?”

Ben smiled. “We live or die together.”

He held out his hand, and she realised for the first time that he wasn’t wearing his gloves. Whether he'd thrown them into the seas of Kef Bir or the pits of Exegol she had no idea. Slowly, she reached out her hand and touched her fingertips to his.

It was like that first time, over the fire on Ahch-To, the sense of knowing and being known, an intimacy stronger and deeper than anything physical. But unlike on Ahch-To, there was no treacherous vision. Rey saw only with her eyes, sitting in front of her on the floor of the run-down ship. He smiled, and she smiled back, and for a moment they were both at peace again.

Rey broke the contact first, and they were silent for a long time. 

Again, Ben was the first to speak. “Why did you do it? Why did you heal me on Kef Bir? You wanted to kill me since Pasaana. Or before.”

It all seemed so long ago. She _had_ wanted to kill him. But in that moment, when she had felt Leia reach out to him… 

“I didn’t want to be the one who killed Leia’s son. Not then, at least.” And she’d hated the hate that had filled her when she ran him through. “Why did _you_ do it? Why did you bring me back?”

“I think you know,” he said softly. 

Rey looked away. She did know.

She knew what she had to say, to do, and she knew that if she didn’t say it now she might never have the courage. 

“Ben, we can’t be together. At least not now. I know I kissed you, but... Sometimes I feel I know you more than I know anyone, but I’m not sure I do, not really. I know who you _could_ be. But you’re not there yet.” She made herself look at him. “And I can’t just forget what you’ve done, what you’ve done to _me_ , and said to me.”

“I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

“You _should_.”

Ben nodded. “I know.”

“This bond, this dyad - whatever it is. I have no idea what it is, or how we can work it out. Maybe we’re bound together - no, I know we are -” there was no point denying it - “but I’m still me and you’re still you, and -”

“I know what you’re saying,” he said. “I do. Really, Rey. And I know you’re right. I wish you weren’t, but... For so long I’ve been chasing you, without really knowing why I want you. Now I do know, and I won’t chase you any longer, I promise. If you want me, I’ll be waiting. But I know it would have to be your choice, and I won’t try to push you.”

She willed herself to stop trembling. “If you do, if you for one moment -”

“I won’t.”

“You’d better not. If you do, then that’s it, dyad or no dyad. Do you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Good."

Rey tried to stand but faltered. Ben lunged and braced her elbow until she could right herself. When she was steady, he sat back.

“We should rest,” she said, looking down at him. “In the morning we leave for Ajan Kloss, and we’ll both need our strength. I’ll go check the ship’s secure. You set the controls to standby. Then let’s get some sleep.”

***

They slept there on the cabin floor, lying on either side of the little pile of ration wrappers as if it were a campfire. The climate control was working, so at least they weren’t cold.

Rey woke first, stiff and aching from head to toe. She sat up slowly, gritting her teeth as her muscles protested. Ben was curled up on his side, frowning in his sleep. She almost reached out to him in the Force but stopped herself. Better to stay out of each others’ heads for now, or at least to try.

Carefully she got to her feet. Ben didn’t stir. She covered her nose and mouth to use the decrepit ‘fresher, and when she returned to the cabin she found to her surprise that she was hungry. She took out another canister of water and a ration pack and ate standing, gently moving and stretching out her muscles to ease the stiffness.

When she unscrewed the water canister, her fingers fumbled and she dropped the lid. She went to catch it, lost her balance and ended up on the floor, the canister flying through the air and spilling all over Ben. 

He sat up with a start, winced in pain and wiped the water from his face, blinking at her. “Good morning.”

“I fell. I dropped the lid and I kriffing _fell_.” She had never felt more ridiculous in her life.

He looked down at his sodden tunic. “Well, we probably both need a bath.”

“If you can stomach being in the ‘fresher for that long, you’re stronger than I am.”

“That bad?”

“You’ll see.”

On his return Ben just grimaced. He took the ration bar from her but didn’t unwrap it.

“Eat,” she said.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ll need it. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day.”

Ben grimaced again, unwrapped the ration bar, and took a bite. 

Now that Rey had rested and eaten, she was able to think more clearly, and she noticed how much younger he looked than when he was her enemy. Much of the tension had gone from his face and shoulders, and was she imagining it, or had his scar faded?

He finished the ration bar and took a gulp from another canister. 

“Ready?” she asked him.

He nodded. “I’m ready.”

***

They made the journey in near silence. They had so much to talk about, but it seemed impossible to know where to start. Rey feared that once she attempted to make sense of what had happened, what was happening, she would quickly be overwhelmed, and she wanted to be back with her friends before she started to grapple with it. Poe, Rose, and especially Finn - they might not understand, but they would help her remember who she was.

On the approach to Ajan Kloss she opened a comms channel, feeling a stab of guilt at the realisation that she hadn’t reported since she left. Kef Bir. Did they even know she was alive?

The comm crackled into life. “Unknown transport, identify yourself.”

“This is Rey, requesting a private line to General Dameron.”

“Rey? Burning skies! Right away.”

More hissing, then - “Rey? Stars alive, we thought you were dead!”

Hearing Poe’s voice again for the first time since Kef Bir felt like she was almost home. _I_ was _dead._ She didn’t say it. Time for all that later. “I’m alright. You? Finn? Rose?”

“All fine. But Rey, Leia -”

Beside her in the co-pilot’s seat, Ben’s shoulders tightened, and he looked away. 

“I know,” Rey said. “Poe, I need something from you.”

“Anything.”

“Are you alone?”

“Yeah, it’s just me here. What is it?”

She looked over at Ben - _last chance_ \- and he nodded. “I’m nearly at the base, and I’m bringing someone with me. Poe, do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“No, really Poe, _do you trust me_?

A pause. Then, “I trust you. What’s this about, Rey?”

“I need safe passage for the person with me.”

“Who is it?”

“Safe passage, Poe.”

Another pause. “Safe passage. I promise.”

She took a deep breath. “It’s Ben Solo.”

“Ben - _Kylo Ren_? The _Supreme Leader_ is with you?” 

Rey grimaced. “He’s not - it’s not that simple. He’s defected.”

“ _Defected_? The _Supreme Leader_ has _defected?_ ”

“Poe…” She paused. This was going to be just as hard to explain as she had feared. Keep it simple.

“The Emperor’s dead. The fleet’s destroyed. And Ben Solo’s turned back to the Light Side.”

The crackling of the comm seemed louder than ever. 

“Please, just trust me," she said. "Give us safe passage to the base, then it will all make sense.” _Eventually. I hope_.

There was another silence. Then finally - “You’ve got your safe passage,” said Poe. “I’m sending you the coordinates. We’ll see you soon.” 

The comm hissed out, and the navicomputer began to beep as the coordinates came through.

She set the course, then looked over at Ben. He was breathing rapidly, and his hands trembled as they moved over the controls. Their eyes met.

“This is it,” she said.

“This is it,” he echoed. “No turning back.”

“No turning back.”

***

They landed on the outskirts of the base and found Poe and Finn had brought a dozen others to meet them. Among them Rey spotted some of the highest-ranking Resistance officers. _They’ve come as witnesses,_ she realised, and wondered what Poe had told them.

A stir went through the group as she and Ben disembarked, and only Finn and Poe kept still. She wanted to run to them and hold them tight, but she held herself back and walked slowly towards them, Ben following half a pace behind.

She stopped just before she reached her friends, and Ben walked the last few steps alone. He took a deep breath.

“I, Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, hereby surrender myself into the custody of the Resistance, pending trial for my many crimes.”

Rey felt the shock radiating from her comrades, and her heart filled with pride at how Finn and Poe kept their composure. Only the tightness in Finn’s jaw and Poe’s widened nostrils betrayed their strain. Poe nodded to Finn, who stepped forward.

“Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, former so-called Supreme Leader of the First Order, you are hereby detained in the name of the Resistance.” He motioned to a lieutenant, who presented him with binders.

Finn fastened them round Ben’s wrists, looking directly into the eyes of the man who had murdered so many, and nearly killed him.

“Any weapons?” Ben shook his head; both lightsabers hung from Rey’s belt. “I said, any weapons?” Finn repeated sharply.

“No. General.” Ben added the last word with some visible effort. Startled, Rey checked the insignia on Finn’s shoulder and saw that her friend had indeed been promoted. Clearly she wasn’t the only one with a story to tell.

Finn started to pat Ben down, his expression neutral. “Standard procedure,” he explained.

Ben gritted his teeth and submitted in silence, staring blankly into the distance. Both Rey and Ben knew he didn’t need a weapon to hurt them if he wanted to, and she suspected Finn and Poe did too. But the procedures had to be followed, and had to be seen to be followed.

Finn stepped back. Poe nodded to the assembled fighters and they moved to flank Ben, escorting him away. Poe fell into step behind them, leaving Rey alone with Finn. She watched Ben until he was out of sight, but he didn’t look back.

Rey turned back to Finn and was filled with a sudden, deep joy to be with her best friend again.

He was looking at her in bewilderment. “Rey, what in the thousand moons of Iego is going on?”

It was a very good question. “It’s a long story.”

Finn gripped her shoulder. “I want to hear all of it.”

He pulled her into a hug and held her tight. She fastened her arms around him and buried her face against his shoulder.

“Rey?”

“Yes?” she replied, somewhat muffled.

“I’ve got a lot to tell you too.”

She pulled back and smiled at him.

“Then let’s get started.”

  
  



	2. The Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Resistance tries to work out what to do with the former Supreme Leader, Rey and Ben wrestle with who they are, where they belong, and what they are to each other.

“He says all the right things.”

The therapist flicked through her data pad. A stately Togruta who’d been working with the Resistance for some time, she had met with Ben Solo a number of times in the days since he had arrived on Ajan Kloss with Rey. Now she had been called to this highly confidential meeting to report to the Resistance leadership on her initial assessment of their prisoner.

Poe, Finn and half a dozen others of the highest-ranking Resistance officers, along with Rey and the therapist, were seated round a rickety table in a room that had until recently been used as a store for spare uniforms of various kinds. A few boxes were still piled up in a corner awaiting removal, and a faint musty smell pervaded the air.

Rey resisted the urge to shift in her seat. She felt almost as if she were being assessed alongside Ben. She knew no one was completely satisfied with her insistence that Ben had turned back to the Light and had helped defeat Palpatine, and they would all - even her closest friends - be watching to see how she responded to this scrutiny of Ben

The therapist looked back up at Poe. “He acknowledges the severity of what he’s done, shows convincing remorse, and appears to have been acting from a place of trauma.” She paused. “If he were a former stormtrooper, I’d be recommending a rehabilitation programme, and perhaps even suggesting the courts consider clemency when it comes to the trial. If he were a former stormtrooper.”

Poe filled in her next thought. “But he’s the former Supreme Leader.”

“But he’s the former Supreme Leader.”

Poe looked over at Finn. “General?”

Finn caught Rey’s eye for a moment. Rey knew he was extremely suspicious of Ben, and deeply skeptical that he truly had reformed. But Rey had a faint hope that his newly discovered Force sensitivity might in time lead him to sense the change in Ben.

Finn turned to the therapist. “You say he says all the right things. What evidence is there that they aren’t just words? What proof do we have that this is genuine?”

The therapist gave a watery smile. “None, I’m afraid. It’s entirely possible that it’s all an act. He’s clearly a very intelligent and charismatic man, and I’m sure he’s capable of telling a tale that he thinks he wants us to hear.”

Rey did shift in her seat then, and Poe sent her a warning look. She swallowed back her insistence that Ben’s repentance was genuine, and realised that perhaps that was best. They had to form their own opinion of Ben’s state, and her intervention might not always be conducive to this. She would have to choose her moments carefully.

“For what it’s worth,” continued the therapist, “I’m convinced by him. In my career I’ve been faced with many supposedly penitent criminals, and in general I have been proved relatively skilled in discerning the genuine from the feigned. But I have been wrong before, and in reality there’s no way to tell from words alone. Only his actions, over a sustained period of time, could truly show if he’s left his old ways and beliefs behind.”

Poe considered this in silence for a moment, then looked round at the room. “Any further questions? No? Alright. Thank you, that’s been very helpful.”

The therapist inclined her head in acknowledgement of his words, gathered her things, and left the room.

“I really don’t see what difference it makes,” said Commander Vell the moment the door hissed shut behind the therapist. “The precise moral status of the former Supreme Leader.” She rested a hand on the table, then clenched it into a fist. A native of Hosnian Prime, she had lost all her family and many of her friends in the First Order’s destruction of the system. “He’s a war criminal, and will be tried as such.”

“It won’t make a difference to the verdict, that’s for sure,”said Poe. “It might make a difference to the sentence, but that’s for the courts to decide when the time comes. For now, he’s in our custody, and he’s our responsibility. Apart from anything else, he’s a dangerous man, and we need to know just how dangerous.”

“When will he be tried?” asked Rey. “Who by?”

“Well. That’s the question, isn’t it? He’ll have to be tried by the Republic. But the Republic’s barely functioning as it is, and who knows how long it’ll be before it can hold a trial like this. And there’ll be other trials too; senior officers and officials, stormtroopers -”

“Stormtroopers?” interrupted Finn. “You’re going to try former stormtroopers?”

“ _I’m_ not going to try anyone,” Poe replied.

“So the Republic's going to take former child soldiers, who’ve been brainwashed since they were kids, and put them on trial?”

“Finn, I don’t -”

“ _General._ ”

“General, I don’t know who’s going to be put on trial. None of us do. That’s not the question we’re dealing with here, the question we’re dealing with is what to do with Kylo Ren.”

“Ben Solo,” interjected Rey. She knew it was best to keep a low profile, but she hated feeling like an observer. And this was a point on which she _had_ to speak up.

“What?”

“His name’s Ben Solo. It always was. Kylo Ren was a persona, and he’s left that persona behind.”

“It’s a persona that’s killed untold numbers of innocent people. It’s the name of the Supreme Leader.” Vell’s eyes were very cold. These arguments over technicalities clearly held little interest for her.

Poe leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. “I really don’t think it matters what we call him.”

“It does matter.” Commander D’Acy had been silent up to now. “It always matters what people call people.”

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled deeply a couple of times. “What’s his legal name? Did he ever legally change it to Kylo Ren?”

There was a pause while D’Acy investigated on her datapad. “No. Legally, he’s still Ben Solo.”

“Ben Solo it is then. Are we agreed?” 

They all nodded in turn. Rey let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. It was more important to her than she could ever express that they called him by his true name.

Poe took a moment to gather his thoughts, then asked, “So the question is, what do we do with Ben Solo?”

Rey saw her chance. “I think we’re doing it already. Keeping him imprisoned here, where he’s secure. When the situation changes, we can review it.”

“I agree,” said Finn. “And I don’t see what else we can do. We can’t give him to the Republic, and this is the safest place to keep him. If there’s any attempt from the First Order to reclaim him, we can hold them off best here.”

“There’s less risk of assassination, too, from either side.” Vell looked as though she regretted this somewhat.

“And he should continue to see the therapist," D'Acy said. "We need to survey his emotional state, and it can hardly make him less dangerous.” 

Rey was glad D’Acy had said it before her. She was cautiously hopeful that the therapist might help Ben, as well as his custodians.

More nods.

“Then we’re agreed,” said Poe.

Rey exhaled slowly, hiding her relief from the others. Ben was safe - for now.

***

The following day, Poe gave Rey authorisation to visit Ben for the first time. She found him meditating in his cell, cross-legged on the floor facing the force field. She didn’t go in - Poe had been very clear about that - and instead sat down in the corridor in front of him.

He was still in the same clothes he’d been wearing on Exegol, but his visible wounds had been washed and dressed. Rey wondered what the medics had made of the two burnt holes in his tunic, one on the front and one in the back, directly opposite each other on a level with his abdomen, but with no wound beneath. She’d have to talk to Poe about getting him some new clothes.

Ben’s breathing was slow and even, and while he was frowning very slightly she didn’t sense distress. She resisted the temptation to reach out to him in the Force.

At last, he opened his eyes. For a while they sat in silence, looking at each other through the force field.

“How are you?” Rey asked, and immediately regretted it. Somehow, it was the biggest question in the world and also the blandest. 

“I’m being fed. No one’s tried to kill me.” He shrugged. “Rey, I’m stuck in a cell with nothing to do, at the mercy of people who used to be my enemies, and think they still are. How do you think I am?”

“It’s a fair question,” she said sharply.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Ben looked down for a moment, then met her eyes again.” You know, if you really want to know how I am, I can show you.” She felt the tiniest brush of his mind against hers.

She flinched away, physically as well as mentally. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He withdrew, puzzlement and hurt in his eyes. “Why not?”

“I just don’t think we should be in each other’s heads all the time.”

“I hardly think there’s much danger of that.”

“Yes there is, Ben, and you know it. I feel it as much as you do. We’re bound together, but we’re not the same person - whatever this dyad means, it can’t be that. If we’re not careful, we’ll forget where one of us ends and the other begins.”

“I don’t see why that would be such a bad thing.”

She pushed down the part of her that agreed with him. “Ben, you said you wouldn’t push me.”

“ _Am_ I pushing you?” She could see he was confused.

“ _Yes_.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just - Can I tell you how this feels to me?”

She nodded, bracing herself.

“It feels like every time we get close, you reject me again. And it hurts, Rey. It feels like I’ve found the one person who’s like me, who can understand me, who _I_ can understand. And that person keeps rejecting me.”

“I’m not rejecting you. But I don’t know if this dyad can be what you want it to be.”

“To me, Rey, that’s the same thing.” 

She looked down. She knew exactly what he meant. 

“I feel it, too,” she said quietly. “What you said about finding the one person who understands. I feel that, too. But - I know it’s not true. I know this dyad means we can know each other in a way no one else can, but it doesn’t mean no one else can know us at all, or understand us.”

“Who? Who can know you anything like the way I do?”

“Finn. Poe. Rose. My friends, Ben. I know it’s not the same,” she said quickly, seeing he was about to interrupt, “but it’s still true. Even without you, I’m not alone.” As she said the words, even knowing them to be true, she felt her soul ache at the idea of being without him.

“Well, that’s the difference between us, then. Without you, I _am_ alone.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“You think anyone will want to be friends with the former Supreme Leader?”

She ignored his mocking tone. “I see the good in you. Others will too. You have to believe that.” Rey could hear how naive she sounded, but she _did_ believe it. It would all just take time. A long time, maybe, but she wouldn’t be Ben’s only friend forever.

He was silent for a while. Then, “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

She stood up and looked down on him.

“Ben, I know you’ve changed. You said back on the ship that you didn’t know how to be Ben Solo. Well, this is where you find out. This is where you _decide_ how to be Ben Solo. You _can_ have friends. Not quickly, not easily, but you _can_. But you need to decide that’s what you want, and decide to work for it.”

For a moment he looked irritated at being lectured, but then he smiled. “You’ve changed so much since we met, did you know? I barely recognise the scavenger from Jakku.”

Rey felt her cheeks redden. She wasn’t quite ready for Ben to compliment her just yet, so she deflected his comment to further her point. “Oh, she’s still there. But she found where she belonged. And you’ve found that too. You know in your heart that it’s true.”

“I do. It’s just difficult to feel like you belong when you’re in a cell.”

“Stop complaining,” she said with a smile. He wasn’t complaining, and she wasn’t really rebuking him. “Start meditating. Goodbye, Ben.”

“Goodbye, Rey.”

***

With Leia gone and the Emperor defeated, Rey was struggling to know her place in the Resistance. No one questioned her right to be counted among the leadership, but technically she had sworn allegiance to Leia personally, as apprentice to master, rather than as soldier to general. They all knew she’d brought Palpatine down, but they’d heard only the slightest allusions to how it had been done. She hadn’t even told Poe or Finn the whole story.

With no formal role in the Resistance, Rey was free to devote much of her time to studying and exploring the Force. And even without Leia, she wasn’t alone in this.

Finn’s emerging Force sensitivity was a delight to them both. He was particularly gifted with anything involving other people - sensing their presence, perceiving their emotions and motivations, discerning how they would react.

Rey had a feeling he would be proficient at mind tricks too, but hadn’t mentioned this to him. She had come to learn just how uncomfortable both Finn and Poe were with the idea of them, and was re-evaluating her own views. Before, she hadn’t hesitated to use mind tricks when it seemed necessary, but her friends’ views were causing her to see them in a different light. But there was plenty to work on with Finn without touching on mind tricks.

What surprised her most was how _fun_ it all was. Her brief lessons from Luke had been both mind-opening and unsettling, and while her apprenticeship with Leia had been satisfying and often enjoyable, it had also been extremely hard work. With Finn they were both relaxed, challenging and encouraging each other. It certainly didn’t feel like she was training him; instead they were both exploring the Force together.

They studied the Jedi texts together, often with Poe and Rose. Leia’s long mentorship of Poe meant he was far more in tune with Jedi philosophy than might be expected from a military leader and ace pilot. Rose approached the texts with the same compassionate but no-nonsense attitude she applied to the rest of life, and her insights were always refreshing and thought-provoking. The little group never made any attempt to keep their studies secret, and they welcomed in anyone who showed an interest. Other Resistance members came and went: most found the subject matter too esoteric for their tastes, but some returned.

Rey harboured a growing feeling that this was a small but important step in the gradual demystification of the Jedi. For so long Jedi had been viewed as separate, other, when people believed in their existence at all. Rey was increasingly coming to believe that if the Jedi were to continue in some way, it wouldn’t be as hermits or closed communities.

In this, as in many things, Leia was her model: a fully trained Jedi who had exchanged her lightsaber for a life of public service, she had never let her Force sensitivity isolate her from the world. Instead, she had used it to engage more fully with the communities and causes before her.

Finn and Rey had developed a kind of game to test their abilities. Most of the storage facilities lay on the outskirts of the base, and a path led through the jungle to link them to the headquarters at the centre. The two friends would position themselves just off the track as it rounded a corner, and would take turns trying to sense who was approaching.

Finn was very good at the game, better than Rey, and his succinct, irreverent descriptions of their comrades frequently had her in fits of laughter. BB-8, whose assistance was needed less by Poe these days as he was largely confined to headquarters, looked on with puzzled enjoyment.

One morning, a few weeks after the Battle of Exegol, Rey and Finn were waiting in their usual place by the path. There hadn’t been many passers by so far, and they were entertaining themselves with a guessing game.

Finn looked around. “Heads up,” he said, smiling. “Here comes a difficult man.” 

Rey smothered a laugh while BB-8 gave an inquisitive chirp, and a few moments later Poe rounded the corner.

“What are you two giggling about?” he asked, good naturedly. “I thought that Jedi training was supposed to be a serious business.”

“Oh it is, very serious,” agreed Rey, just about managing to maintain a straight face. “What you heard wasn’t laughter, it was an outburst of stress because of all the seriousness.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Will you two be back for lunch? Gelda says she’s got an announcement to make, and by the looks she and Territt have been giving each other, I think we might be about to have an engagement on our hands.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there,” said Finn, then frowned slightly at his friend. “But you didn’t come here just to give us an update on Resistance love lives, did you?”

“No.” Poe settled himself on a rock near them. “I came to talk to you both about Ky - about Ben Solo.”

Rey and Finn looked at each other. “We’re listening,” said Finn.

Poe took a swig from the caf flask at his hip, offered it to his friends, and replaced it when they shook their heads. Then he turned to Rey.

“You’re very sure he’s reformed, aren’t you?”

“Yes. That is, I’m sure he’s turned back to the Light, and I’m sure he’s doing everything he can to reform.” She floundered for the words to express what she meant. “Reforming isn’t an event, it’s a process. He’s got a long way to go, but he’s turned in the right direction. Does that make any sense?” She addressed the question to both her friends.

“It does,” said Poe. “It’s just difficult to believe it of the Supreme Leader.”

“It’s true. There’s always been light in him, but it’s been smothered by so much darkness it was almost gone. Now it blazes bright. There’s darkness there still, there’s darkness in all of us. But it doesn’t rule him like it once did. Do _you_ know what I mean, Finn?”

Finn frowned. “I know what you mean. But I don’t see how it can be true.”

“But can’t you sense it?”

“Rey, I’ve barely seen him since you brought him here. You know I trust the Force, but I’m not sure we can all rely on feelings.”

Rey noticed that he hadn’t actually answered her question, but decided not to push it just then. “What _can_ we rely on, then?”

Finn looked at Poe. “It’s like the therapist said. We’ll only really know if he’s changed by his actions.”

“I’m not releasing him. No chance.”

“No one’s asking you too. Are they, Rey?” 

She shook her head. 

“But maybe in time," Finn went on, "there might be chances to test whether he really means what he says.”

“Like what?” asked Poe.

“I don’t know. It’s just something to think about.”

“Hmm.” Poe scratched at his stubbled chin, clearly thinking about it already.

“What do _you_ think?” asked Rey.

“What do I think?” Poe gave a kind of humourless laugh. “What do I think…”

He studied the ground for a moment, then looked up at his friends. “I can’t believe he’s changed. I just can’t. And even if he has, I can’t believe it makes any difference. What he’s done -” He stopped, fists clenched, breathing quickly. 

After a moment he recovered himself. “You know he had me tortured?”

Rey shook her head, wordlessly. Once glance at Finn’s face told her he’d known already.

“First he got his cronies to do it. Then he got in my mind -” His whole body tensed as he flinched away from the memory. Gradually he calmed himself.

“I want him dead,” Poe said quietly. “And I want him to suffer. I’m not sure I like the part of me that wants him to suffer. The part of me that wants him dead? I can live with that."

Rey was alarmed. She’d never heard her friend talk like this. She made a motion to go to him, but Finn shook his head, and she sat back and waited.

Eventually, Poe spoke again. “Guys, I can’t do this. I can’t be responsible for what happens to him. For the Resistance’s sake it needs to be someone more…impartial. And for my sake…if it was my responsibility, it would destroy me.”

“I’ll do it.” Finn’s tone was resolute.

“He tried to kill you!”

“It’s different. We all know it’s different. Besides -” He smiled slightly. “He failed.” He looked more serious again. “Poe, I can do this. I’m a general too, I’ve got the authority. No one will object.”

Poe looked up at him. “Would you do that for me?”

“All that and more. You know I would.”

“Thank you, Finn. I can’t tell you what a difference that makes.”

Finn clapped him on the shoulder. “You don’t need to.”

It was true. Poe was already sitting straighter, and his hand was steady as he took a swig of caf. “That all right with you, Rey?”

“Of course. I’m just - Poe, I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

He took her hand and squeezed it briefly before letting it go. “I know you are. I don’t know what’s going on with you and our prisoner, but I do know that."

Rey shifted uncomfortably. “If it helps, I don’t know what’s going on there either.”

“If you need help figuring it out, just let us know.”

She smiled. “I will.”

***

If Rey had thought her encounters with Ben in the Force would stop now that Palpatine was gone, she soon found she was mistaken.

She was working on the _Millennium_ _Falcon_ when she felt a familiar ripple in the Force. She spun round to find Ben standing before her.

Immediately her anger surged, and he stepped back at the force of it. “You tortured him!” she cried. “You tortured Poe!”

He paused, then nodded. “I did. I wanted to get to Luke, and I would have done anything to find him. I thought you knew.”

“How can you sound so _calm_ about it?”

“Am I calm?”

She realised he wasn’t, far from it. He stood perfectly still, but even with her guard up she could feel the turmoil within him.

“What do you want me to do, Rey?” His voice was low, and there was a tremor in it. “Get down on my knees and scream that I’m sorry? Beg Poe for forgiveness? I’d do all that and more if it would do any good. Would it?” 

She knew it wouldn’t.

Tears were welling in his eyes, and he wiped them away angrily. “I _am_ sorry. I’ll never stop being sorry. For that, for all of it.” He hesitated, then continued. “I did it to you too, remember.”

She clenched her fists. “I fought back.”

“You did.”

“ _He_ couldn’t.”

“No.” Ben took a step towards her but stopped at her gesture. “Rey, I don’t know how to do this. I want to be better, I want to make things right. I’ll do anything I can to be better, and if there’s anything I can do to make things right then I’ll do it. _But_ _I don’t know how to do this_. Will you help me?”

Despite her anger, her heart went out to him. She felt his despair as if it were her own. “I’ll try, Ben.” What else could she do? “I’ll try.”

***

The next day, Rey asked Finn to let Ben out of his cell for exercise. 

“He’s been cooped up for over a month now, and it’s not good. He’s bored, he’s frustrated, and he’s got nothing to do all day except relive everything that’s happened, try to meditate, and brood about what the future might hold. He can’t go on like this. He needs some kind of outlet.”

Finn shook his head. “I don’t know, Rey. I understand what you mean, and I suppose there are places he could exercise under guard, but I don’t like the security risk.”

“You think his cell, or all the guards in the Resistance, could stop him if he really wanted to get out? Finn, he’s in that cell because he’s choosing to stay there.”

“Is that right?” Finn’s voice was calm and his expression showed little of what he was thinking, but Rey sensed this was something he hadn’t considered before.

She nodded. “It is. I know, because anything I could do, he could do too.”

Finn’s eyebrows shot up. Clearly he was still some way from realising just how powerful she was, but she was relieved to see no sign of fear.

He squeezed her shoulder, silently reassuring her of his continued friendship. “I’ll see what I can do. I don’t think the others will like it, but I hear what you’re saying. And what you’re not saying.”

What she wasn’t saying was that they couldn’t risk Ben losing control. He was troubled, and he was powerful, and in all their dealings with him, whatever they thought of him, they had to be wise in taking precautions - for his sake, and for the safety of them all.

***

In the following weeks, Rey and Ben shared several meetings in the Force. It was deeply unsettling never knowing when these encounters would happen, but mostly she learnt to feel them coming and was able to move somewhere more private if needed. Rey was never sure how much of her surroundings Ben could see, and she wasn’t going to risk him learning Resistance secrets, repentance or no repentance.

At first, there was a certain awkwardness to their meetings. Rey wouldn’t talk about their bond, and she couldn’t talk about her life in the Resistance. Ben was unwilling to talk about his past, and neither of them dared talk much about the future. 

At some point they got to talking about the Jedi texts she’d taken from Ahch-To, and this proved a more fruitful topic of conversation. Ben was familiar with most, but not all, of the texts, and they explored them together. He'd studied them for years under Luke’s guidance and had an extensive knowledge of their contexts.

Rey read them quite differently, being much newer to Jedi lore, and having discussed them with her non-Jedi friends. It was also enlightening to read them with someone who’d had significant academic training. Rey had scavenged as much education as she could on Jakku, but it had been patchy, and neither Finn, Poe nor Rose had had much experience of literature or philosophy. Both these disciplines had featured prominently in Ben’s education, and he was able to bring new approaches to their discussions.

Bringing all these perspectives together, Rey and Ben saw the texts with new eyes. Sometimes this was exhilarating, sometimes it was challenging, and sometimes it was deeply painful when the loss of their mentors cut deep, or they shared Ben’s flashbacks to the destruction of Luke’s temple and his part in it.

One morning, what Rey had been dreading finally happened, and she felt Ben’s approach while she was dressing for the day.

“Close your eyes!” she said the instant she felt it, both aloud and through their bond. When he appeared, he stood with his hand covering his eyes.

“Wait,” she ordered, and dressed quickly. “You can open your eyes now.”

He lowered his hand but didn’t look at her, for which she was grateful. “This can’t go on,” he said quietly. “What can we do?”

“I don’t know,” she said, and immediately knew the first step she had to take. “I’m going to tell Finn.”

He did look at her then, somewhat pained. “Do you have to?”

“Yes,” she said flatly.

He looked down. “You know I have no one else to talk to about this. Only you.”

“Then we’ll have to change that.”

***

In the end, she told Finn, Poe, and Rose together. She didn’t think she could do it more than once, and she didn’t know how long they’d all be on base together.

She'd told them about the bond after Crait, but she hadn’t told them when it reactivated a year later. They all knew there was more to what had happened on Exegol than she had told them. Now, sitting on the floor of her quarters, she told them everything.

They heard her out in silence. Finn and Rose looked grave, while Poe was visibly agitated, though he tried his best to stay calm. BB-8 and D-0 stayed close to her, and as she talked she cleaned BB-8's casings and oiled D-0. She was glad of something to keep her hands busy and to avoid having to look her friends in the eye all the time.

When BB-8 shone like he was fresh from the workshop, and D-0 was squeak free and gleaming, Rose wordlessly passed Rey a compressor to fix. She worked on it for a while, but eventually had to put it aside as her hands were shaking so much.

When she’d finished, Poe got up and began to pace. Finn and Rose glanced at him, then turned their attention back to Rey. They came to crouch on the floor beside her, BB-8 and D-0 scooting out of the way to let them past.

Finn took her hand and held it tight, and Rose looked her directly in the eyes. “Thank you for telling us, Rey,” she said. “That took a lot of courage.” She looked up at Poe, who hesitated for a moment, then came to join them.

He hunkered down by Rey and put out a hand to squeeze her shoulder. “Thank you, Rey. You know we love you, right?”

She smiled. “I know.”

They stayed like that for a moment, Rey resting in the comfort of her friends’ support. After all the turmoil of the past weeks and months, she finally felt a glimmer of hope that things might work out somehow.

After they had all moved to sit on the packing cases that served for chairs, Finn was the first to speak. “So you and Ben are a dyad in the Force. What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. It means we’re connected, bound together, but I don’t know how. I don’t know if it just happened recently, or if we’ve been joined together all our lives.”

“I thought Snoke joined your minds. Or Palpatine -” He ran a hand through his hair. “Whoever, I thought he did it?” 

“He said he did. But do _you_ think we can trust him?"

“Hah. When you put it like that…” He frowned. “So you and Ben can communicate whenever you want?”

She nodded. “And sometimes when we don’t want to.” She flinched at the memory of their most recent encounter. “Those times when we meet in the Force, where we’re in different places? We can’t control when that happens. But it’s not just about communication. I can see into his heart, his mind, in a way I can’t with anyone else. And he with me. If we let each other. We’re trying not to, Finn, but it’s hard.”

At this, Poe made a sudden movement, half standing up then stopping himself. He sat back down. Rey could see the effort it took him, and it both pained and touched her.

Poe sighed. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he said. “It’s just a lot for me to get my head around."

“Join the club.”

“Of course. I’m sorry.” Poe rubbed his chin. “You’re Palpatine’s granddaughter?”

She grimaced. Somehow she’d hoped they would pass over that. 

“I am. Leia knew; Luke knew. But they didn’t tell me. I think because they accepted me for myself, and wanted me to do that too. Maybe they would have told me in the future. Now…I suppose it’s best to know the truth. But I don’t see that it changes that much.”

“You might have other family out there. I’m sure you could trace them if you tried.”

Rey shook her head. “I have all the family I need right here.”

“ _We_ ,” said D-O. “ _We are your family._ ”

She smiled. “Yes. Yes you are.” 

BB-8 beeped his agreement.

There was a comfortable silence, then Rose asked the question Rey desperately wanted to find an answer to. “What happens now?”

Rey twisted the cuff on her wrist, round and round. “I don’t know. I need help, _he_ needs help. But I’ve no idea who can help us.”

Finn leaned forward. “I think I know who might be able to. Maz.”

_Maz!_ Of course - Rey couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it herself. “But she’s on Malastare.” She’d left in the immediate aftermath of the Battle of Exegol, before Rey and Ben had even arrived on Ajan Kloss. “I don’t think this is really something we can do over commlink or holo.”

“She’ll come back for this," said Finn. "I know she will.”

“Rose, you can track her down, right?” asked Poe.

“If she wants to be found, which I think she will. I’ll get on it right away.”

Poe checked his commlink. “That’s Connix. I need to hear her report.”

“Go,” said Rey. “I’ll be fine.”

Finn stayed behind. He hesitated, then asked, “Rey, are you in love with him? Sometimes you sound like you are.”

She looked down. “I don’t know. It’s not that simple.”

He sighed. “This is a lot for us all to take in. It’s going to take us a while to get used to it, you know? And I’m not sure we’ll end up agreeing with you about everything.

“But you know what I do know, Rey? We’re _family_. And that’s never going to change. We’re going to try our best to understand, but whatever happens, we’ll never stop loving you.”

She blinked away her tears. “I’ll never stop loving you guys either.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.” He grinned. “Reckon you’ve got it in you to give a lesson in lightsaber combat to your favourite student?”

“Reckon you’ve got it in you to be beaten by your favourite teacher?”

“That’s the spirit. Come on. Loser takes the winner’s sanitation rota for the week?”

“You’re on.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: ith Maz’s help, Rey and Ben finally face up to the things they’ve been avoiding and start to move forward. Rey explores her identity as a Jedi, and looks to the future.


	3. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Maz’s help, Rey and Ben finally face up to the things they’ve been avoiding and start to move forward. Rey explores her identity as a Jedi, and looks to the future.

Maz heard her out in silence. Having already told her friends, Rey found it was actually much easier the second time round. Where her friends had been visibly uncomfortable Maz nodded encouragingly, and where they had been confused Maz seemed to understand.

“Can you help us?” Rey finished.

Maz closed and opened her eyes in a slow blink, then smiled. “I think I can. It won’t be quick, it certainly won’t be easy, and it may not achieve what each of you want it to. But, if you are both willing to trust me, I think that together we can find a way forward.

“I will ask Ben for himself, but for you, Rey: can you trust me?”

That part _was_ easy. “Yes. I can.”

***

With Finn and Poe’s permission, Maz had a space set up for them in a small hangar on the edge of the base. It remained heavily guarded, but the guards had been instructed to stay well out of sight and earshot, so they could have privacy without compromising security or jeopardising the Resistance’s reputation in keeping Ben in custody. There was no way to hide that they were in a military facility, but Maz had procured as many cushions and pillows as she could to make it more comfortable.

Maz began by setting out what she proposed. She would talk with them together and separately, to try to help them work through the things they needed to, and to explore what being a dyad might mean now, and in the future. She warned them it would be hard work, and that there was no way to tell where it might lead. But she hoped they would benefit: as individuals, as a pair, and as people trying to find their place in the new order of things.

Maz had hard words for them at the start. She told Ben he couldn’t let his pain at the past and present stop him from moving forward. He had chosen a future as Ben Solo, and he had to continue to choose it. 

“And you,” she said, turning to Rey, “you know exactly what you’ve been doing. And you need to stop.”

Rey nodded mutely. She’d been pretending to herself that she could help Ben without their mutual attraction getting in the way.

Maz’s expression softened. “Your motivation has been good,” she said gently, “but you need to stop.

“To start with,” she said to both of them, “I don’t want you meeting together alone, without me here.” Rey felt a spike of emotion from Ben - fear, anger, and something else she couldn’t read. But he quickly brought it under control, and when she glanced over at him his expression was calm.

“I know you will meet each other in the Force,” Maz continued. “That can’t be helped. But this is going to be difficult - it will be best for both of you to keep your meetings structured where you can, for now. And when you do meet in the Force, I want you to really focus on what’s happening when these encounters start, and when they end. That’s the first step in controlling them”

She gave a slow smile, and Rey felt the knot inside her stomach loosen just a fraction. “I know you can do this. You have the strength. I have faith in you both.”

***

After so long wrestling on her own, it was a relief to talk to Maz about everything. Maz didn’t seem surprised by anything she had to say, and when Rey explained her complicated feelings towards Ben, Maz seemed to know exactly what she meant. And with Maz, Rey was finally able to confront her biggest fear.

One session, after Rey had settled herself on the cushions, Maz began. “You’ve said more than once that you were afraid of yourself. What do you mean by that?”

Rey had been thinking about it for some time, but it was still difficult to talk about it. “I was afraid of…what I could do. Of what I might do. Of my power. And of my anger.”

“You were afraid of your anger?”

“Yes.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’d seen what it could do. What _I_ could do. When I thought I’d killed Chewie…”

“You’ve not talked to me about that before.” Maz’s tone was gentle.

“It was horrible, Maz, I was fighting with Ben for control of the transport I thought Chewie was on. I was so angry at him. And I lost control. The lightning -”

“Lightning?”

Rey nodded. “It was - it felt like all my rage and fear ripped out of me and became this - _power_.” She shuddered, remembering how it had felt, and her horror when she thought she had killed her Wookiee friend.

“Had this happened before?”

“Never. I’d never heard of anything like it. But then Palpatine…”

“He used it?”

She nodded again. “So I shouldn’t be that surprised, really.”

“Why not?”

“Why not?” It had never occurred to her that Maz might not know. “Because he was my grandfather.”

“Aahhh.” Maz let out a long, sighing breath and sat back.

“You didn’t know?”

“I did not.”

“I thought you knew everything.”

“Tsch, child. I know many things. I did not know that.” Maz was silent for some time, clearly considering the implications of what she had heard.

After a while, Rey continued. “I was afraid of myself even before then. But when I found out…It made so much sense. No wonder I felt the pull of the dark side, no wonder I was so angry.”

Maz leant forward and looked at her intently. “Rey, you are not angry because you have Palpatine blood in your veins. You are angry because you have something to be angry about. Many things, in fact.

"You are angry at Ben because he hurt you, and hurt your friends. You were angry at Palpatine because he was evil, and he sought to destroy the galaxy. You were angry at Luke because you thought he was going to kill Ben, and you thought he was fleeing his duty to the galaxy. All of these things are good reasons to be angry.”

“But a Jedi shouldn’t be angry.

“Are you a Jedi?”

“What?”

“Are you a Jedi?”

“Of - of course I am.”

“And what is it that makes you a Jedi? Hmm?”

Rey realised she wasn't sure. She had thought of herself as a Jedi for a while now, but no one had ever asked her what it meant.

She realised Maz was watching her closely. "I don’t know.”

“Well. Think on it. But regardless of whether or not you are a Jedi, know that anger is not always wrong. Anger that consumes, anger that destroys, anger that rules you - that is wrong indeed, and I think you have known that anger.

“But you have also known a different type of anger. The anger at wrongdoing and injustice that spurs you on to fight for change. That kind of anger can be a force for good.

"Anger in itself is not wrong. It is the kind of anger, and the effect it has, that determines whether it is right or wrong.”

Rey considered this. “That doesn’t sound like Jedi teaching.”

Maz’s smile widened. “That, child, is precisely my point.”

***

Over the months, through her time talking alone with Maz, Rey came to know herself better than she ever had before. Maz helped her confront the parts of herself she was afraid or ashamed of, and she gradually learnt both to accept herself, and to strive to be better. It was hard work, but she could see her own growth so clearly that she rarely lacked motivation.

The times where she talked with Ben and Maz together were emotionally, spiritually, and even physically gruelling. Guided by Maz, she and Ben talked to each other properly about their bond for the first time - how they experienced it, and their hopes and fears for what it could become.

They'd caught glimpses of what their dyad could be - sharing their minds, hearts, powers and even life force. They both felt the potential for their bond to be the foundation of a life together. But they had both hurt each other deeply, and been hurt by others around them, and they brought that pain to their dyad.

From an early age, Ben had struggled with his emerging power. His parents had loved him deeply, and he knew it on some level, but he had never really felt secure in that love. So as his understanding of his strength in the Force grew, and he saw more and more how it marked him out as different, he was reluctant to confide in his parents.

When, desperately trying to do the right thing, Leia and Han sent him away to Luke’s academy, he experienced it as a rejection and began to truly resent both his parents and Luke. His loneliness, vulnerability, and extraordinary strength in the Force made him an easy and attractive target for Snoke.

Over the ensuing years, Snoke’s repeating cycle of punishment and praise bound him to him and left him damaged. So when he turned on Snoke on the _Supremacy_ and bet everything on Rey, her rejection cut deep. He knew now why she had chosen as she did, but it didn’t stop it hurting. And her insistence since Exegol on keeping her distance from him had also been very hard to take.

As for Rey, her feelings regarding Ben’s offences were conflicted. Ben had killed Han, and many others in the Resistance. He had tried to kill _her_ and her friends. But somehow, though she could hardly believe it at first, she found she was forgiving him for much of what he had done. Through their bond she felt his remorse, his deep pain at his awful deeds, and she sensed the Light that was now the core of his being.

If Ben had once given any hint that he thought she _should_ forgive him, or even if Maz had implied it was something she should do, she didn’t think she would have done it. But he never showed any expectation of being forgiven, and Maz always made it clear that it was Rey’s choice how she responded to his contrition. 

And so, somehow, she found it in herself not to excuse, not to forget, but to forgive him for much of what he had done. Rey supposed she couldn’t really forgive Ben for wrongs he had done against others, but she didn’t know any other word to describe how she was no longer holding those deeds against him.

But some of his deeds were harder to move on from. On Starkiller Base he had restrained her body and invaded her mind. On the _Supremacy_ he had preyed on her deepest insecurities and told her she was nothing unless she chose to be something with him. Their first physical contact through their bond since they had touched hands had been on Pasaana, when he grabbed at her chest to snatch the necklace from her.

The physical pain had been minimal, but Rey couldn’t put into words how much these things had hurt her, and continued to hurt her. Not to Ben, not to Maz, not even to herself. When, around six months after Exegol, she finally tried, the only sound that came out was a single sob, as tears ran down her cheeks.

And there, sitting on the floor of the hangar amongst the cushions and blankets that had been salvaged for their private space, Ben held out his hand to her, palm upwards. “Show me?” he invited.

Rey knew instinctively what he meant, and turned to Maz for approval. Maz indicated with a tilt of her head that it was up to Rey.

Rey reached out, took his hand, and held it to her forehead. They both closed their eyes.

Rey let her guards down and felt Ben do the same, though he made no move toward her in the Force. Somehow she knew exactly what to do. She took her experiences of those encounters and offered each to Ben.

With her, he felt it all: the shock, the fear, the humiliation, the deeply personal assaults on who she was. She felt his hand tremble between her palm and her forehead, but he didn’t pull away. Instead he stayed to feel everything she had felt, and still felt.

She opened her eyes. Tears were streaming down his face, and the brown eyes that looked into hers were filled with grief and horror.

“Rey,” he said, faltering. “Rey. I’m so sorry. I’m so -” he wrapped her hand in both of his and held it to his lips. “I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered into her fingers. Then his whole being seemed to crumple as he broke down and wept.

That was the start of the healing.

***

Now, by mutual consent, they were able to experience with each other some of the things that were essential to their understanding each other. It proved to be a catalyst. Not only did they grow in their knowledge of and empathy for each other, they also grew to trust each other more - to entrust each other with some of their formative experiences, and to trust each other not to cross the lines they established.

Gradually, they gained more control over their meetings in the Force. Most times now they were able to end the encounters when they wanted to, and sometimes they managed to initiate them. It was still unreliable, but they made significant progress under Maz’s guidance.

On a few occasions, their experiences spilled over into their dreams. Rey felt child-Ben’s fear that his parents would abandon him, caught glimpses of Snoke's torments, and experienced his gaping emptiness after Crait: Supreme Leader of the First Order, and utterly, utterly alone. And with her Ben was left behind on Jakku, watched helpless from afar as he murdered Han, and felt her horror as she thought she had killed Chewie.

In a very limited way, Rey talked with her friends about her times with Maz and Ben. There wasn’t much she could share with them - partly because there was no way they could understand, and partly out of respect for Ben’s privacy. But she wanted them to know something of what she was experiencing, and while they struggled to grasp what she was going through, and continued to have reservations with regard to Ben, they never left her in any doubt of their love and support.

***

“There must be others,” Rey said to Finn one day as they warmed up before running the training course. “Other people like you and me.”

“Force sensitives?”

“Mmm. Must be. People who are hiding it, or who don’t know what it is, or even who don’t know there’s anything going on. Force sensitive people can’t have died out just because the Jedi Order did.” She heard what she’d said and grimaced. “Bad choice of words.”

“What are you thinking?" Finn asked. "That we could train them?”

She grinned at him. “I do love you, you know?”

“Course I do. Why in particular, right now?”

“You knew exactly what I was thinking. And you said ‘we’.”

“Sure it’s ‘we’. So you want to train them?”

“Yes. Well…I don’t know about train. But do what we’re doing now. Learning together."

Finn stopped mid-stretch. “Rey, you need to stop this. Stop thinking you’re not training me. You _are_.”

She made a face. “I just don’t like the idea that I know more than you. Or that I’m more skilful than you.”

“Well, in this, you do and you are. There’s no shame in it, for either of us.” Her uncertainty must have shown in her expression, because he continued, “You’re an amazing teacher. I’m learning so much from you.”

“But I’m learning so much from you too!”

“And that’s part of why you’re so good at this. You don’t think you’ve got all the answers. You don’t think you know everything. You’re always willing to be proved wrong, and you’re always learning.” Rey looked away, and Finn moved so he was in her eyeline again, making her smile. “Can you deny those things are true?”

Rey shook her head.

“And has you training me damaged our friendship in any way?”

She shook her head again, her smile widening.

“Rey, I’m proud to call you my mentor as well as my friend.”

She pushed at his shoulder; he grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. She squeezed it back and they let go. “You think we can do this?” she asked. “Train other Force sensitives?”

“I think we could.”

“How? Start an academy, like Luke did?”

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

“I don’t know, either.”

“Well, why don’t we think on it? We can talk about it another time, when we’ve had time to think it through. For now -” He reached for Leia’s lightsaber. “Let’s run.”

Rey left her doubts behind for the time being, and sped off through the jungle.

***

Maz shuffled amongst the cushions to find a more comfortable position, and turned her attention back to Rey. “You’ve often talked about being angry at Ben, when he was still calling himself Kylo Ren. Why don’t you talk a bit about that?”

Rey fiddled with a fold of her wrap. She’d been thinking about this a lot, and knew where it was going to lead. It was time to face it. She took a deep breath and began.

“At first I was angry because of what he did to me, and to my friends. He invaded my mind, he tried to kill me. He nearly killed Finn; he _did_ kill Han. 

"But then, after Starkiller, when the Force was connecting us…” Rey trailed off.

Maz waited for her to continue. When Rey stayed silent, staring at her hands in her lap, Maz prompted her. “Were you still angry at him then?”

Rey shook her head. “No. Well, yes. At first. But then I began to understand him more.” She grimaced. “Or at least I thought I did.” 

Maz blinked slowly, her wrinkled gaze kind, and Rey felt a sudden rush of hope. Maybe her mentor really would understand.

“He’s so like me, Maz.” She spoke quickly, trying to get it all out before she lost her nerve. “We’ve both been so alone, we’ve both got this power that we don’t understand and that people are afraid of. And when we touched hands -”

Rey stopped suddenly. She still had difficulty talking about what had happened then, it was so personal. She inhaled deeply and made herself continue.

“When we touched hands on Ahch-To, we both had a vision. I don’t know if it was the same vision that we saw differently, or if we had different visions. Either way, I was so convinced that he would turn, that he would join me on the light side. So when he didn’t…”

Words failed her. Those electric moments when she thought she and Ben were on the same side, followed by the crushing loss of finding she was wrong. It had been the most painful of their interactions.

“I wasn’t angry at Ben then. I think it would have been easier if I _had_ been angry.” She brushed away the tears that were forming in her eyes. “I just hurt so much.”

Again Rey paused, and again Maz waited for her to gather her words.

“After that…After that, our meetings in the Force seemed to stop. I thought they _had_ stopped. So when I felt his presence before we went to Pasaana…” She flinched at the memory. “Everything came back. I could feel that connection, as strong as it had ever been.

Rey shuddered. “I was so afraid. I’d been so sure he would join me, and I was wrong. So what if our visions actually meant that I would join _him_ on the dark side? It felt…I really thought it was going to happen.”

It was her darkest secret, far more shameful than her Palpatine heritage. She’d talked about it a bit with Finn, but not to this extent.

“ _That’s_ why I was so angry at him. He wouldn’t leave me alone, and I could feel the pull to be with him. The pull to be with someone like me.” She looked down at her hands. “It was easier to be angry with him than to admit what I was really feeling.”

“Fear often leads to anger.” Maz’s voice was gentle.

“But it’s worse than just anger.” Rey gathered herself for the final push.

“When I fought Ben on Kef Bir, I thought I was losing myself. I could feel the darkness closing in on me. I was trying to fight it, but…” 

She was clenching her fists so hard that her nails were digging into her palm. “Rage, fear, hate…Everything I was using to fight him, it was all from the dark side. I was so sure the Dark was going to win.”

Rey realised she was trembling. Even though she knew how it had turned out, that she hadn’t fallen, reliving that awful duel on the wreckage of the Death Star made it all so real again. “Maz -” 

Maz laid a hand over Rey’s fist. She put her other hand under Rey’s chin and made her look at her. Those dark eyes had never looked older, or kinder. “Rey, _the dark side lies._ If you ever felt like it was inevitable that you would go to the dark side, then _you were wrong_.”

Now she took Rey’s face between both her wrinkled palms. “We can always choose to turn to the Light. _Always_. The dark side wants us to think we can’t fight it, because we can _always_ fight it.”

Maz gave Rey’s face a little shake. “That is the truth. You lived that truth when you refused to fall, and Ben Solo lived it when he returned to the Light. You _must_ believe that truth, even when you don’t feel it. _Do_ you believe it?”

Rey _had_ believed it, once, when she went to Ben on board the _Supremacy_. Then, when he refused to join her, he had suffocated that certainty.

And now...

Now, Rey found that she did. “I do believe it.”

Maz smiled broadly. “Good. That truth, child, is why we can always have hope.”

***

As Rey and Ben continued in their sessions with Maz, preparations began for the trial of Ben Solo. 

Finn was reluctant to hand Ben over to the Republic tribunal until just before the trial began. He wasn’t convinced of the Republic’s ability to hold him securely, and he knew that when the Resistance gave up Ben, they would be losing an important bargaining chip in their dealings with the Republic. So Ben remained in the custody of the Resistance for the time being, but they all knew he wouldn’t be with them indefinitely.

Rose was the first of Rey’s friends to visit Ben. Neither of them said much to Rey about their meeting, and she didn’t want to pry, but from some comments Rose made and some questions she asked, Rey had the impression that her friend’s view of Ben was beginning to soften, and this gave her hope.

Finn and Poe kept their distance from Ben, as was made necessary by their position in the Resistance. Finn’s thoughts on the matter were hard to guess, but Rey knew Poe’s opinions hadn’t changed, and she didn’t feel she had any right to push him on it.

One morning, Finn came to find Rey in the hangar as she was repairing an engine. 

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “about what you said about Ben at the start, when he first arrived. About how there might be a way for him to prove through his actions that he really has changed.”

He perched on the edge of Rey’s workbench. “Some documents have come in, extracted from a First Order vault. We’ve managed to decipher most of them, but some are in a code we haven't encountered before. Do you think he could help us decode them? Do you think he _would_ help us?”

Rey straightened up and set her wrench on a workbench. “I don’t know. I hope so. But you’d have to ask him, I can’t speak for him.”

Finn was silent, pondering this. 

“You _can_ trust him, you know,” Rey added. “I know you’ve got your doubts, and I don’t blame you, but you can trust him. Try him and see.”

“Hmm,” said Finn. “I think I might do just that.”

***

Finn was as good as his word, and as Rey had hoped Ben agreed to his request. At first, Finn set Ben to work on some documents they had already decoded, to test how reliable his versions were. Then, gradually, he assigned him newer and more sensitive texts.

Sometimes Ben, under the tightest security, joined the small team of operatives who were working on the documents. Rey could see the effects this had on him, and tried to curb the hopes that were growing in her.

Ben often found it challenging to be with them. Although the suspicion with which they responded to him came as no surprise, it still hurt, and his instinctive tendency was to react with a defensiveness that spilled over into anger at them when he recounted his experiences to Rey. But he worked hard to restrain his behaviour and to contextualise the Resistance operatives' reactions to him, and he made steady progress.

Despite his struggles, Rey could see that having a task to do and a role in the Resistance, albeit a limited one, was doing wonders for him. Finally Ben had a purpose, something in the outside world to work for, and he devoted himself to it with unwavering determination.

When one of his contributions was instrumental in uncovering a significant cache of First Order armaments that would undoubtedly have been used by fugitive militants to cause multiple deaths, his pride was evident, and he could barely stop smiling for days.

What was more, this event marked the beginning of a slow but steady change in his teammates’ view of him. While some certainly still doubted, or even suspected him of lulling them into a false sense of security in order to better attack the Resistance later, others began to consider the possibility that he might actually be one of them. They began, cautiously, to talk to him about matters other than their work, and to get to know him as a person. Crucially, although these people knew of his reputation as Kylo Ren, they had never actually met him while he was part of the First Order, which Rey thought made it easier for them to know him as Ben.

While they were some way from being his friends, Ben, perhaps for the first time ever, had genuine comrades. With them he put into practice lessons he learned from his time together with Rey and Maz, gradually learning to listen to and emphasise with them, be patient, to agree, disagree and compromise.

Rey had to work hard to keep the smile off her face when Ben told her about his interactions with his teammates. She didn’t hide her approval, but she didn’t want him to know just how important she thought these developments were. She was worried that if he knew, it might put pressure on these emerging relationships and jeopardise his progress.

And while Rey itched to know what his teammates thought of their new colleague, she made herself keep her distance. Ben had to work through this on his own.

***

Rey was walking back to the base one evening after a day in the forest. Above the canopy the sun was setting, and the light filtered golden through the leaves.

Ben had now been a prisoner of the Resistance for nearly a year. Sometimes it felt like much longer, and sometimes it seemed the months had sped by as if through hyperspace. He had made so much progress, and so had Rey, but she still felt like she was waiting for something. It was close now, maybe, but she still couldn’t quite put into words what it was.

Ahead of her on the path a shaft of sunlight broke through the canopy, and she stopped for a moment. The sunray illuminated the water vapour rising from the forest floor, and insects danced in the light. The air was warm and damp, and fragrant with the scents of earth and leaves and flowers.

In a state of almost meditative calm, Rey advanced slowly, until she stood on the edge of the light. Then she lifted her foot and stepped into it.

The sunlight bathed her from head to toe, singing on her skin and warming her soul. She closed her eyes to drink it all in, and opened them to a vision.

She and Ben were standing back to back on a landspeeder as it raced down a boulevard between rows of towering skyscrapers. Their hair was flying in the wind and their eyes were shining, and in their hands they were each wielding a yellow-bladed lightsaber. From the blaster bolts they were deflecting, they were evidently fleeing from an unseen enemy, but from the grins on their faces this clearly wasn’t causing them too much concern. She blinked, and the image vanished.

Rey stayed where she was, drenched in sunlight and pondering what she’d just seen. The future? One of a number of possible futures? Something else? She’d learned not to trust visions, but this one felt different. If there _was_ truth in it, it could represent the possibility of something she’d hardly dared imagine.

She shook her head to clear it, stepped out of the light, and continued on her way back to the base.

Rey told no one about her vision: not Ben, not Maz, not Finn. But in the secret depths of her heart, she began to allow herself to contemplate the possibility that somehow, some day, she might be able to have what she now knew she yearned for.

A future with Ben.

***

A few weeks later, Rey and her friends were all in Poe’s room. These times when they were all at leisure together were growing rarer, and Rey savoured every one. On this evening Finn and Rose were sprawled on the floor playing a card game, and Rey was sitting cross-legged on Poe’s bed watching him sketch.

“Is that the tree?”

Poe nodded. “Best I can make it.”

It was good. In just a few, finely judged lines, Poe had captured the essence of the tree. A slender, gnarled trunk rose from a tangle of roots, and supported a wide-spreading crown. There was something in it that reminded Rey of the ancient tree on Ahch-To, and she wondered if they were related somehow.

Poe had told them about the tree some time ago now. It had been planted in the garden of his family home on Yavin 4 from a cutting of the Great Tree that had once grown in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.

“It looks…peaceful,” she said.

“It was. When I was a kid, I’d play in its shadow, or sit in its branches and read. I’d spend hours there. It was strong, too. If I’d had a bad day, I’d go and sit in a hollow in its roots. I could feel its strength filling me, like its roots were my roots too.”

Rey liked hearing Poe talking about his childhood, and Rose too. They’d known more than their fair share of personal tragedy, but they’d grown up with a family who’d loved them. Sometimes Rey - and Finn too, they’d talked about it - felt a pang of jealousy, but mostly she was happy for her friends, and felt honoured to be included in their reminiscences.

She watched as Poe deftly added some grass around the tree’s roots, and sketched a few blossoms on the upper branches. With just those little touches, it was suddenly spring.

Poe put down his stylus and sat back to survey it. “What do you think?”

“I love it. It reminds me of the tree on Ahch-To, but - softer, somehow. More human. If that makes sense.”

At Poe’s feet, Rose’s shout of laughter and Finn’s groan signalled that Rose had won their game. Rey realised this might be her opportunity to talk to her friends about something she’d been pondering for some time. “Actually, I wanted to ask you guys what you thought of something."

Finn and Rose sat up, and Poe swivelled in his chair to face her. “We’re all ears, Rey,” he said.

“Well…you know Finn and I have been talking about training Jedi somehow?” Poe and Rose nodded. “We don’t really know how to go about it. But I’ve been thinking…

“So much Jedi knowledge has been lost over the past decades. Destroyed with the Temple on Coruscant, or burnt at Luke’s academy. But here on Ajan Kloss we’ve got some of the foundational texts of the Jedi Order. As far as we know they’re the oldest surviving writings on Force lore.

“So… what if we published them so anyone could read them? That way it wouldn’t be reliant on us finding individual Force sensitives. Anyone could read the texts, and reach out to us if they wanted to.” She looked around at them. “What do you think?”

Poe and Rose looked at each other. “I don’t know, Rey,” said Rose. “We’re not Jedi.”

Rey uncrossed her legs and sat forward on the edge of Poe’s bed. “But that’s exactly the point. For so long Jedi have controlled who has access to their knowledge. Only Force sensitives, and only the right _sort_ of Force sensitives. 

“But I’ve learnt so much from talking about all of this with you guys.” She turned to Finn. “And you too, right?” He nodded. “If we publish the texts so anyone can read them, we’ll all be able to learn together, from the texts and from each other. Regardless of how Force sensitive we all are.”

Poe rubbed his chin. “But if anyone can read them…Not all Force sensitives are like you and Finn, or Leia and Luke. If anyone’s got access to this knowledge, what’s to stop it being used by someone with bad intentions? Or someone accidentally misusing their power because they’re just trying to work things out for themselves, without training?”

Rey looked at Finn, who shrugged. 

“I don’t know,” she said. “A lot of what Finn and I are doing is just trying to work things out for ourselves.

“And I think,” she continued, only realising as she said the words that it was what she thought, “I think we just have to take those risks. For centuries Jedi have kept a tight rein on who could study their teachings. And look how well that turned out for the galaxy. I think we just have to trust that, as knowledge spreads, we’ll learn enough from each other to keep each other in check.”

“Have you talked to Maz about this?”

She shook her head. “Not yet. I wanted to see what you guys thought first.” Rey hesitated. “I’ve talked to Ben about it, a bit.”

Her friends exchanged glances. “And what does he say?” asked Finn.

“He spent years with both Snoke and the Jedi telling him only they could teach him the ways of the Force. He thinks if more people had access to the Jedi texts, and were able to discuss them together, it would help prevent any one group having that kind of hold over anyone.”

“Hmm.” Poe considered this. “He’s got a point.”

There was silence for a while as they all mulled it over.

“You know what I think?” said Rose. “I think that, ultimately, the only way you’ll know if it’s the right thing to do is if you do it.”

Rey felt a fizzing, fluttering feeling that told her she was about to do something huge, and life-changing. “Finn?”

“I do think we should talk to Maz first before deciding anything. But I think it’s a great idea. Terrifying,” he added, “but great.”

“This could change the galaxy,” she said, awed, looking around at her friends. “It really could, couldn’t it?”

“I think it could,” replied Poe. “And I think it will.”

***

As Ben’s trial grew nearer, speculation grew on what role the Resistance would play in the future of the galaxy.

Some of its more militant members, particularly ones who had been with it since the beginning, argued that the Resistance had earned its right to have a say in the governing of the Republic. Others argued that with the First Order defeated, the Resistance had achieved its aim and should be dissolved as a matter of urgency. Most fell somewhere between the two extremes.

For her part, Rey didn’t really know what she thought. Whatever happened, the Resistance couldn’t continue to exist in its present form, and although she was of course glad they no longer had the First Order to fight against, she knew she would miss many aspects of life in the Resistance among the friends and comrades who had become her family.

Rey was increasingly becoming convinced that her role after the Resistance would be bound up with whatever happened after she and Finn published the Jedi texts. She valued Finn’s help with this more than she could put into words, but was also coming to accept that, regardless of how ready she felt to take a leadership role, she would be leading whatever this became. She could feel the Force leading her in that direction, and she had to trust that the Force would guide and equip her in it.

In addition to helping Rey with the Jedi texts, Finn had been working with Jannah to develop a rehabilitation programme for former stormtroopers. Many such men and women had turned themselves in, and Finn and Jannah were working to help ensure as many as possible could access therapy and be supported to re-enter society.

Finn paid occasional visits to Ben, and although he wouldn’t be drawn on exactly what he thought, Rey had the impression he, along with Rose, might gradually be warming to him. The development was slow, and Rey didn’t know how far it would go, but such as it was it filled her with quiet joy.

She knew, however, there was little chance that there would ever be much cordial feeling between Poe and Ben. Although Poe seemed to be open in theory to the idea that Ben was reforming, the marks left be Ben’s torture of him were too deep to allow much chance of personal reconciliation. 

And on Ben’s side, though his character was developing in many ways, he couldn’t entirely leave behind his jealousy of Poe. Poe had been the golden boy of the Resistance, universally celebrated and loved, and he had been mentored by Leia in a way Ben never had been. In Ben’s eyes Poe was the son Leia wished she had, and although he knew this wasn’t true, that it was yet another lie of the dark side that had sunk its claws into him, it was a very, very difficult lie to leave behind.

Nevertheless, Ben continued to progress in his learning to live on the light side. And, as he did so, each step took him closer and closer towards his trial.

***

Rey and Finn sat side by side, holding the datapad together and staring at the screen.

It had taken months to prepare the texts. Somehow Rey had thought it would be straightforward, but transcribing some of the more obscure scripts had been difficult, and C-3P0’s help had been invaluable.

They had decided to publish the texts as they were, and make available alongside them the translations and notes they’d made so far. But this proved to be more complicated than they had anticipated. Many words and passages had alternative translations, and it didn’t seem right to make the judgement call of what to include, so they ended up providing extensive commentary along with the translations.

Maz had helped them a little, but had by and large left them to it. When Rey and Finn had told her of their plan, she had smiled so much that her face seemed to disappear into its own wrinkles. She’d made it very clear that the decision was theirs, but she left them in no doubt that she approved.

And, finally, here they were.

“Ready?” asked Finn.

Rey took a deep breath. “Ready.”

Together, they hit _p_ _ublish_.

They exhaled, slowly. “That’s it,” said Finn. “A new era of the Jedi.”

“But…” Rey voiced the question she’d been considering for some time, since Maz had first asked her it. “Are we Jedi?”

“What?”

“Are we Jedi? We’re Force sensitive, we use lightsabers, we follow some Jedi philosophy, but are we really Jedi? We’ve had nothing like the training Jedi used to have, we don’t have any kind of Order or structure, we pick and choose what teaching to follow. I don’t think we really are Jedi, at least not in the way the word’s been used for centuries. Millennia, maybe.”

Finn was silent for some time. “If we’re not Jedi, what are we?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we _are_ Jedi, maybe it’s alright to call ourselves that. But whatever we are, whoever we become, whatever comes of sharing these texts - I don’t think we should let the word define us. I think we should define the word.”

He gently knocked his shoulder against hers. “Very neat.”

“Well, it’s what I think.”

“I think you’re right. I think we’re only just beginning to discover what being a Jedi can mean.”

***

At first, nothing happened. Rey wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but it was certainly more than the gaping silence that greeted the releasing of the Jedi texts. She tried not to think about it too much, and between her sessions with Ben and Maz, training with Finn, and the rest of her work in the Resistance, it wasn’t too hard to keep her mind on other things.

But one day, she was contacted by a Rodian girl who was frightened and bewildered by the way she could make things move when she was angry or upset. Then a young man around her and Finn’s age, who for years had been overwhelmed by feeling other people’s emotions, and had been unable to stop his own emotions influencing others. Then a woman in her sixties who had been an apprentice in the old Jedi Order and had been hiding her powers ever since.

One by one, people from all over the galaxy contacted Rey and Finn. Each time she wanted to leave immediately to go to them, or invite them to Ajan Kloss. But she knew the time wasn’t right yet. She and Ben were making good progress with Maz, and she knew they had to see this through for their own sakes and each others’. Finn and Jannah’s rehabilitation programme had reached a critical stage, and he had to stay. So in the meantime they all talked as much as they could, shared their ideas, and dreamed of when they might be able to all meet in person. 

Rey and Finn continued to train together. They sparred often, taking turns to use each of the two lightsabers. Finn was a natural: his many years of combat training combined with his swiftly developing Force abilities meant that he quickly became a formidable opponent. Rey usually beat him - she was stronger and more experienced - but he always gave her a good run for her money, and she suspected he would be a match for her before long.

But Rey was growing restless. Ben’s trial was imminent, and the lightsaber she had once thought of as hers she increasingly began to think of as Luke’s. In time she made a decision.

It was Rose she told first, as they were working on the _Milennium_ _Falcon_ together one afternoon. “I’m going to make my own lightsaber,” she said, levering out a transistor.

Rose’s face broke into a grin. “Good.”

“I was wondering if you’d help me?”

Rose’s smile widened. “I was hoping you would ask that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: It’s Rey’s turn to make amends, and Ahch-To has a few surprises in store.


	4. The Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Rey’s turn to make amends, and Ahch-To has a few surprises in store.

That night, Rey and Ben dreamt of the island. She couldn’t see him, or herself for that matter, but she knew they were dreaming together. She saw the island as she never had before, at night under a clear sky. It rose humpbacked and brooding from the sea, the moonlight silvering its peaks and casting its crevasses into shadow.

 _This is Ahch-To_ , said Ben. _Where Luke went to hide_.

 _Yes_.

 _You’ve been here_?

 _Yes_.

 _It’s beautiful_.

She laughed. _Sometimes_. She sent him her memories of rain beating into her face, soaking her to the skin despite her poncho, and of winds so strong she’d had to dig her staff into the ground to stop herself being blown over the cliff.

 _Why are we seeing this? All our dreams so far have been…not beautiful_.

 _I think this is where we’ll find our kyber crystals. To build our lightsabers_. She didn’t know how she knew it, but she did.

He gave a humourless laugh. _They’ll never let me go to Ahch-To_.

 _I suppose not_. Somehow it didn’t seem a problem.

 _As for building a lightsaber_ \- 

She interrupted him by showing him the vision she’d had of the two of them, back to back on the speeder with their yellow lightsabers.

Ben was silent for a long time. _You really think that’s going to happen?_

_Can’t you feel it?_

_I can. It’s just difficult to believe it._

_Trust the Force. Trust me._

_I will. I do._

The waves glittered in the moonlight, mirroring the stars above. The island, shadowed and motionless, sailed on through the sea, as the tides swelled and the stars tracked their changeless paths through the heavens.

***

Once she would have rushed off to Ahch-To the instant she woke up, but she was different now. 

First she explained her plans to her friends. She was relieved to find they supported her and even seemed to understand. They wanted at least one of them to go with her, but Rey stood firm: this was something she had to do alone. They seemed to sense this was different from the other times she’d gone off on her own, and to see it for what it was - a kind of pilgrimage. Besides, she wouldn’t really be going alone; BB-8 was very insistent that she would need his help, and Rey agreed gladly.

Next, she waited for Chewie and Lando to return with the _Millennium_ _Falcon_. She could have taken a smaller transport, or even a one-person fighter, but the _Falcon_ would be more comfortable. Besides, it felt like bringing another friend with her. Although it was much easier with a co-pilot, she could fly the _Falcon_ alone, particularly if BB-8 was there for technical support.

She left Luke and Leia’s lightsabers behind. In some strange way she’d sensed that they didn’t want to return to the island. She’d also sensed she could deal with any dangers she might encounter without them. Either that, or they would be dangers lightsabers would be no use against.

When she took her leave of Ben and Maz, her mentor didn’t seem at all surprised at her plan. “Go with all blessings,” she said. “May you find what you seek, and much that you do not.”

Maz and Ben were the only people she had told that she was going to Ahch-To to find Ben’s crystal as well as hers. It didn’t feel like keeping a secret from her other friends, and in fact she no longer felt guilty about not telling them everything that went on with her and Ben. She told Maz everything, and was sure Ben did too. And when talking to Maz, Rey somehow always knew when it was something she should tell her other friends too, and when it was alright to keep it to herself.

Maz gave the two of them a few moments alone to say their goodbyes. It was the first time Rey had gone off-world since returning from Exegol, and it felt strange to be leaving Ben behind.

“I wish I could kiss you goodbye,” he said.

“I wish you could, too.”

Rey twisted her fingers together to stop herself reaching out for him. They’d agreed with Maz that it was still best to keep their distance for the time being, but it wasn’t getting any easier. 

“Goodbye, Ben. I’ll see you when I get back.”

***

She reached Ahch-To in the middle of a storm, and had to circle the island for some time above the weather system before it cleared enough for her to land. She tucked the _Millennium_ _Falcon_ away in the lee of a cliff, where she’d left it the first time she came to the island, and waited for the worst of the wind and rain to pass.

Instead of easing, however, the storm only intensified again. Rey and BB-8 sat for hours listening to the rain beating against the windows, and the wind howling round the rocks and rattling the _Falcon_ ’s plating. Rey knew the landing gear was secure, but she couldn’t help picturing a gust of wind picking up the ship and throwing it into the sea. In the end she gave up waiting, and so spent her first day and night on Ahch-To without setting foot out of doors.

By morning the rain had mostly stopped, and though the wind was still strong, it had lost the ferocity of the day and night before. Rey wrapped herself in her poncho, shouldered her staff and a pack with some provisions, and stepped out into the grey dawn.

The cool, damp air was fresh with the scents of the sea and the hills. She turned back at BB-8’s inquisitive chirp. “This isn’t really any place for an astromech," she said. "Besides, someone needs to stay and guard the _Falcon_. These porgs seem to have taken quite a liking to her.”

A dozen or so of the birds were already perching on the guns and hatches, and a couple were hopping perilously near to the entrance ramp. BB-8 gave a shrill whistle and they fluttered back. “ _I’ll guard_ ,” he beeped.

As Rey set off towards the steps, the wind tugged tendrils of hair from her triple buns despite her hood, and seemed to push her along and hold her back by turns. She had a job to follow her course to the foot of the steps, and had to keep her eyes on where she was putting her feet. She was glad of her staff that kept her steady, and warned her of scree and slippery rocks.

The pounding of the seas filled her head and drove out thoughts of anything other than her quest. She didn’t know how or where she would find kyber crystals on the island, but sensed her journey began on the summit.

When she reached the foot of the hill, she gazed up at the steep slope, ignoring the brief squall of rain that blew into her face. In the dim half-light of the morning she could just about make out the steps, snaking their way up through the rocks. She hitched her pack more securely on her back, adjusted her grip on her staff, and began her ascent.

It was a hard climb, harder than she remembered. Perhaps it was because she was fighting against the tail end of the storm - she’d climbed it first on a clear day - or perhaps she was still weakened from Exegol. She supposed she could have used the Force to make it easier, but somehow that felt like cheating.

From time to time she stopped to catch her breath and rest her legs, and from each vantage point the island seemed different. Sometimes it was like a gigantic beast crouching in the waves, ready to spring on some unseen sea monster. Sometimes it was a stone forest reaching up to the skies. Sometimes it didn’t seem to exist at all, when the path was little more than a ridge in the cliff face and all she could see was the sea and sky merging into one.

More than once she disturbed a flock of porgs, and they filled the air with their beating wings and the trills of their alarm calls, disorientating her enough to make her flatten herself against the rocks to avoid losing her balance.

After what seemed like hours of climbing she had her first glimpse of the summit and drew a sharp intake of breath. Was that Luke? No. Just a cluster of boulders. She shook her head to clear it, and continued upwards.

Finally she emerged onto the small, level-ish patch of land that crowned the hill. She paused for a moment to get her breath back, then walked over to the cliff edge where she had first met Luke, and looked out over the seas of Ahch-To.

From this height the waves were a mass of steely grey that churned and rolled with no discernible pattern, flecked with white where they crested and fell. Far below her the waves threw themselves towards land and broke on the rocks. 

All she could hear was the deep bass roar of the seas all around her and the buffeting of the wind in her ears. Somewhere behind the clouds the sun was rising, but only a thin light filtered through.

Her desert soul felt dwarfed by the teeming expanse of water surrounding her, yet something in her was drawn to it. The ocean couldn’t be more different from the desert, and yet they were alike: vast and unknowable, beautiful and brutal, always changing, always the same. She closed her eyes and felt the Force flowing through her and around her, shining like a beacon from the sacred island and filling the sea and sky.

She opened her eyes and watched the porgs dipping and whirling, surprisingly agile on the wing despite their plump bodies. She followed one as it dived into the sea and emerged with a silvery fish shining in its beak, then flow low over the waves and rocks towards its nest.

As she followed its flight, her attention was caught by one particular rock. She frowned and looked more closely, and suddenly she realised what it was: the top half of the standing stone she had split in two while training with Luke’s lightsaber.

A deep sense of unease prickled at her, and she looked around at the island below. There were the truncated remains of the rock, squatting on an outcrop. There were the fragments of stone that had shattered the first time she meditated. There was the burnt out wreck of Ben’s TIE fighter scarring the shoreline. Somewhere out of sight were the remnants of the hut Luke had blown apart when he found her and Ben touching hands.

 _I did this_ , she realised, horrified. _However unintentionally, I caused this destruction_.

“I want to put this right,” she said aloud. “But I don’t know how.”

“You could start by asking the people whose home you’ve wrecked.”

Luke’s Force ghost shimmered in the air beside her, his features dim in the blue glow and the slowly brightening morning.

“Master Luke! I’ve got so much to tell you, so much to -”

“Another time,” he interrupted. “First, you fix this.”

She looked down at the shore. “How can -” She turned back to Luke, but he was gone. She sighed. Entering another plane of existence apparently hadn’t done much to improve Luke’s temper.

Rey craned her neck to look over the precipice, and could just about make out the domed huts of the Caretakers’ village nestling below. The prospect of meeting the lanai again was daunting, but she knew Luke was right.

She took one last look out towards the horizon, drinking in the expanse of air and water. Then she drew a deep breath, and began the climb back down the steps.

***

As she approached the domed huts of the Caretakers’ village, her trepidation grew. She knew the lanai didn’t like her, and she didn’t blame them. What kind of reception was she about to receive?

Only a few lanai were in sight, bustling to and fro between the huts, sweeping the yards and carrying provisions. One of them looked up, saw her, and trilled an alarm. One by one, white-veiled heads popped out of the huts, and Rey covered the last few yards watched by two or three dozen lanai.

She stopped on the edge of the village and wondered how to go about this. The lanai surveyed her unblinking, not hostile, exactly, but certainly not welcoming. _When in doubt, keep things simple._ At least she knew they understood Basic.

“Hello,” she said. “I’m Rey. I think I’ve met some of you before.” She hesitated. “I’ve…done a lot of damage to your home. I’m very sorry. I’d like to put it right, if I can. Will you show me what I can do?”

She waited for some time as they continued to study her in silence, then one of the lanai stepped out of her hut and waddled towards Rey. She peered up at her, then beckoned to Rey to follow.

The Caretaker led Rey away from the village towards a little cluster of rounded structures, smaller than the homes they lived in. Storehouses, maybe. One of them had been almost flattened, and stones of varying sizes littered the grass around it.

The lanai said something to her, picked up a stone, and placed it by the remains of the structure. Then she picked up another stone, and placed it next to the first. After a couple more stones Rey realised she was building a pile, and started to make one of her own.

Eventually, two little heaps of stones lay next to the circle of what had been the walls of the structure. Then the Caretaker showed her how to lay the stones one on top of the other to rebuild the walls, choosing varied shapes and sizes and overlapping them so that they stayed secure without the need for mortar.

Rey made slow progress throughout the day. The lanai easily knew what stone needed to go where, but she found it very difficult. Frequently she had to dismantle sections she had just constructed and build them again. But the lanai was patient, and showed her what she needed to do without ever hurrying her or expressing irritation. 

Later, Rey would wonder why the Caretakers, whose role after all was to look after the island and maintain it, hadn’t rebuilt these structures before. She would speculate that for some unknown reason the damage was of a kind that needed to be repaired by the person who had made it. But for now, those questions didn’t occur to her, and she persisted in her labour under the careful supervision of the lanai.

When there was no longer light enough for her to see what she was doing, Rey sat back on her heels and surveyed their work. Together she and the lanai (mostly the lanai) had rebuilt the walls to where they started to taper to the curved dome. She had a feeling that the next stage would be more difficult, but that would be tomorrow’s problem.

For now, she realised how hungry she was. Tomorrow she would have to make sure she stopped at some point to eat something; the work was both physically and mentally demanding, and she’d been so absorbed that she hadn’t felt her hunger. She dug in her pack for a couple of ration bars, unwrapped one, and offered it to the lanai.

The lanai leaned forward and sniffed it tentatively. She made a puzzled noise, then sneezed four times in quick succession. Then she threw back her head and made a squeaking, wheezing sound that Rey realised was laughter.

She smiled. “I suppose they must be quite strange to you. But they’re pretty useful.” She took a bite and continued, chewing, “Not very exciting, but useful.”

The Caretaker considered this for a moment, then gave a whistling sigh and shook her head ruefully. Evidently there was no accounting for the preferences of humans. She patted Rey’s hand in a consoling fashion and shuffled off, gesturing for Rey to follow her.

Back at the village, Rey was greeted by a homely scent of smoke. The lanai she had been with all day led her to a hut and gestured for her to enter.

Rey ducked under the lintel, and half a dozen lanai turned to look at her. They were sitting round a fire over which was cooking several fish of varying shapes and sizes. She halted, unsure. Then one of the Caretakers said something to the others, who nodded their veil-covered heads several times, and they beckoned her to their circle.

Rey settled herself down by the fire. She took the little stone slab that was offered to her, and when it was her turn held it out to receive a selection of fish portions that the lanai carefully served her. They were good. Some were dense and almost meaty, others were soft and delicate, and one tasted oddly earthly.

The lanai chattered away to each other and frequently directed their comments and questions to Rey, apparently unconcerned by her inability to understand. She smiled, and nodded, and ate her fish.

When she had finished, she licked her fingers and wiped her hands and mouth on her poncho. She was warm and full of fish after a hard day’s labour, and she could feel herself growing sleepy. She surpassed a yawn, and tried surreptitiously to stretch. Her muscles had seized up from sitting still after a day of exertion, and she made a mental note to stretch properly before going to bed.

One of the lanai noticed her fidgeting and asked her a question. At her puzzled expression the others made a kind of insistent clucking sound, and made shooing motions with their hands. It looked like they had decided it was bedtime.

Hoping she hadn’t misunderstood them, Rey cautiously unfolded herself and stood up with the aid of her staff. “Thank you,” she said. “That was a lovely meal. It was very kind of you to share it with me. Goodnight.”

She stepped out into the night air and let the moonlight guide her back to the _Falcon_.

***

Rey’s days assumed a natural rhythm. She rose early and breakfasted on board, then headed out. She laboured steadily throughout the day, pausing around noon to eat some of her rations. Towards dusk, one of the lanai would come and fetch her, and she shared their evening meal (always fish), before returning to the _Falcon_ to sleep.

She worked with her hands whenever she could, lifting and carrying and gradually rebuilding the things she had destroyed, guided all the while by the lanai. When a rock was too heavy for her to lift alone or with the help of the Caretakers, she used the Force, levitating them into place.

With Ben’s TIE fighter it was different. Emanating from it she felt the rage and pain of its former pilot, and her own confusion and despair when she had destroyed it.

After staring at it for a long time, she made a decision. She mustered all her strength, reached out with the Force, and lifted the whole pile of wreckage into the air. Straining with all her might, she pushed it out over the waves, feeling its shadow lessen as it drew further from the island.

When it was outside the reach of the porgs’ usual flight patterns, she let it fall. It plunged into the sea and sank below the waves, deeper and deeper until she could no longer sense it. Satisfied, she turned her attention to her next task.

***

She worked though mist and drizzle and squalls of rain, and she grew almost not to notice the wind unless it was strong enough to make her lose her footing. Most days she was soaked to the skin at least once, but she dried off quickly in the wind, and her exertions meant she didn’t stay too cold for too long.

Sometimes however, during true storms, the weather got the better of her, and she took refuge on the _Millennium_ _Falcon_ , glad of its simple and familiar comforts while the gales raged outside.

She had no idea how long she stayed there. Days, weeks, months, years - she didn’t know, and it didn’t seem to matter. Time was different on Ahch-To.

***

One morning at dawn, Rey awoke to a deep thrill of anticipation. She ate a hurried breakfast, said goodbye to BB-8, and stepped out into the day.

The sun was rising into a cloudless sky, gilding the island and turning the sea to a sparkling expanse. The air was cool but the sun warmed her face. The wind seemed to leap and dance around her, plucking at her clothes and pulling her towards the steps. She followed its leading, and soon saw a squat figure heading towards her.

The Caretaker paused and waited for her to reach her. She trilled a greeting, gestured for Rey to follow, and set off at a surprisingly fast pace given her ungainly-looking waddle.

She led Rey on and up, step by rocky step, as the sun rose and bathed the island in a clear light. This time the climb didn’t tire Rey. She was spurred on by a kind of shimmering restlessness that urged her upwards, and though she used her staff it was more out of habit than because she felt she needed it.

They reached the temple just as the sun crested the crag behind, shining directly into Rey’s eyes and dazzling her for a moment. When her vision cleared, she found the lanai was gone. She paused at the entrance, then ducked her head and stepped over the threshold.

Sunlight streamed through the opening that looked out across the sea, illuminating the pool in the centre of the floor but leaving the rest of the temple in shadow. Rey approached the pool and looked down at the mosaic of the Prime Jedi, sitting in eternal meditation. Though the wind gusted and whistled round the structures outside, not a ripple stirred on the surface of the pool, and she could see the mosaic beneath as clearly as if it were under glass. Light and dark; two, yet one. _A dyad_ , she realised, marvelling.

She sensed a presence behind her, and turned to see a lanai she hadn’t seen before. She was smaller than the Caretakers Rey had met, and her fish-like face was more deeply lined. Unlike the other lanai her head was uncovered, and her earth-brown habit was belted with a cord from which hung ropes of shells, smooth pebbles and bulbous fragments of dried seaweeds.

Rey knew instinctively that this was some kind of headwoman or priestess, and she bowed deeply. She straightened to find the ancient lanai peering at her with her head on one side, a benevolent expression on her wizened face.

“Thank you for letting me stay on your island. I’m sorry for all the mess I’ve made.” The Caretaker didn’t move, but stood blinking at her silently. "I didn’t realise how much damage I was causing. I was careless, and I didn’t think.” 

Still the Ianai didn’t respond. 

"I’m trying to put it right," Rey went on, "but I wish I hadn’t done it in the first place.”

The silence stretched out. The lanai inclined her head to the other side and continued to contemplate her. Rey knew she was in the presence of someone far older than anyone she had met before, older even than Maz. Her watery eyes were placid, shrewd, kind.

Finally the lanai smiled, and beckoned Rey to come closer. Hesitantly, Rey approached. The lanai reached into a pouch suspended from her waist, then held out her closed fist, stubby fingers downwards.

Rey opened her palm, and the Caretaker dropped into it two pale crystals, one roughly egg-shaped, the other wider at one end and tapering to a jagged point .

Rey held them up and examined them. They were translucent, nearly transparent, with wisps of cloud-like inclusions. From some angles they were colourless, but from others they seemed pale yellow or light blue. Occasionally she caught the slightest flash of green, or purple, or red.

Lifting her head again, Rey found the Caretaker had vanished, and she returned her gaze to the kyber crystals. They seemed to absorb the light in the temple and emit it back in a soft glow. She looked up again, and found Ben standing before her.

It seemed so natural that she wasn't surprised. She hadn’t even felt his approach in the Force, as if he had been with her all along.

Wordlessly, Rey held out her hand to him, the two crystals sparkling in her palm. Ben laid his hand over hers, warm and very real. With the kyber crystals between their palms, they both knew what was possible.

They clasped hands, she drew him forward, and he stepped into Ahch-To.

They stood face to face, gazing at each other in wonder.

“Did we know we could do that?” Rey asked him.

“I don’t think we can anywhere else,” Ben said. “Can’t you feel it? This whole island is strong in the Force. Stronger than anywhere I’ve known.”

“Can we go back?” she asked, knowing the answer before he shook his head. “This is going to take a lot of explaining.”

“What is this place?” Ben asked, looking around.

“The first Jedi temple. It’s what Luke was looking for all that time.” She led him over to the pool and they gazed down at the mosaic. “The Prime Jedi. The founder of the Jedi Order.”

“A dyad.”

“Yes. Everyone who knew about the Prime Jedi thought they were a person. But they were a dyad.”

Ben lifted their still-clasped hands and held them out over the pool. The water rippled and pulsed; power and life thrummed through them and through the island. Then it subsided and a stillness filled the temple: peaceful, expectant, full of possibility.

“Rey, what could we do together?” Ben’s voice was low, marvelling.

She smiled up at him. “I think we’re just beginning to find out.”

***

She commed back to the _Falcon_ , asking BB-8 to send a message to Finn and let him know Ben was with her and that she would explain later. Then she and Ben went down to the Caretaker village.

The lanai greeted Ben without surprise. Rey couldn’t see the ancient lanai she’d met in the temple - had she told the others, or had they sensed Ben’s coming? Either way, they seemed to accept his presence as natural and expected. When Rey was satisfied that Ben had the Caretakers’ approval, they left the village and got to work.

When night fell, after they had eaten with the lanai, Rey led Ben back to the _Falcon_. He stopped when he saw the ship crouching in the shadow of the cliff, faintly illuminated by the auxiliary lights BB-8 always left on to guide her back.

“Do you want to go back to the village?” she asked, sensing his unease.

He shook his head. “I just didn’t expect to see her here. I don’t know why not.”

She took his hand, and they boarded the _Falcon_ together.

He looked around at the scuffed walls and battered fittings. “She’s been through a lot.”

“You could say that.”

A beep from out of sight, then BB-8 rolled round the corner. He stopped when he saw Ben, and gave a concerned whistle

“It’s alright,” said Rey. “He’s with us now.” Slowly BB-8 advanced.

Ben hunkered down, holding out a hand to the little droid. He dropped Rey’s hand as he did so, and she rested it on his shoulder.

BB-8 stopped and tilted his head up at him.

“I’ve hurt you,” said Ben. “And so have the people I was with. We hurt the people you care about. I’m truly sorry. I see things differently now, and I’m trying to be better. Will you give me a chance?”

BB-8 looked at Rey. She didn’t respond - the droid had to make this choice for himself.

Finally, BB-8 beeped his response. “ _One chance. Only_.”

“It’s more than I deserve. Thank you. I won’t waste it, I promise.”

In the lounge, Rey made caf while Ben settled himself down on the couch, leaning back against the wall and stretching out his long legs on the seat. She joined him and handed him a steaming mug. It was strange to be doing something so _normal_ with Ben as sharing a caf - but for him this was anything but normal.

He surveyed his surroundings, eyes lingering on the navicomputer. “This ship was like a sister to me,” he said. “I loved her when I was a kid.”

Rey set her mug on the table and shifted on the couch, hugging her knees under her chin, leaning against the window and gazing at Ben. This was the first time he had talked about his past without Maz being there with them, and it somehow felt like a greater act of trust than anything he had shared before.

A faint smile played around his lips, and when he turned to Rey she could see the happy child living again in his eyes. “We would go on adventures; my dad, Chewie and me. Sometimes Mom or Uncle Luke or Lando came too.

“Dad taught me to fly her, though sometimes I think she only let me when she felt like it.” Ben rested his palm on the wall; familiar, affectionate. Then a shadow crossed his face. He removed his hand and reached for his caf.

After a couple of sips, he continued. “As I got older I became jealous of her. She took up so much of Dad’s time and attention, and sometimes it seemed like he loved her more than he loved me. He was definitely more comfortable with her.”

Ben stared into his mug. “I understand it more, now. She might be the most temperamental ship in the galaxy, but Dad knew her ways. If she was acting up he could usually find out why, sooner or later, and fix the problem. Whereas with me…”

“He couldn’t fix you,” Rey filled in his next thought.

Ben shook his head. “He didn’t even know what was wrong, most of the time. This was when Snoke…This was when he began to take an interest in me. When Dad was becoming afraid of me, before they sent me away.”

Rey felt a tight fist squeeze her heart. She stretched out her leg a little so it rested against his, and Ben smiled as he acknowledged the touch.

“Dad had good reason to be afraid of me, as it turned out. But you know what? Even at the end, at the very end before he fell, I knew he loved me. It just took me a long, long time to accept it.”

Ben looked around. “I feel closer to him here. I hope he’s at peace.”

Rey thought of Han, of his strength and solidity and his calm resolution as he had faced his son. “I think he is.”

Ben met her eyes, and for the first time she saw Han in him. “I think so too.”

***

Their days on Ahch-To passed in steady labour and quiet companionship. Together, Rey and Ben repaired most of the remaining damage with the help of the lanai. They didn’t speak much, apart from what was necessary for their work. A deep stillness seemed to surround them and fill them, and neither felt the need to talk. 

One morning, they both awoke with the knowledge that this was their last day on the island. They worked through the day, then went to take their leave of the lanai. The village was almost deserted, but two of the Caretakers came out to see them off.

Rey and Ben knelt down to say their goodbyes. “Thank you for making us welcome, and for allowing us to help,” said Rey. “I’m sorry we weren’t able to finish everything, but I think it’s time for us to go. We’ll try to come back and finish the rest.” 

It only occurred to her later that Ben might never be able to go anywhere of his own free will again.

As the sun was beginning to set, they made their way up the steps to pay one last visit to the temple and the Prime Jedi.

They gazed down at the mosaic. Light in darkness, darkness in light; peace and balance. A dyad, like them and yet unlike.

Ben took Rey’s hand and led her out onto the stone ledge where they knew Luke had breathed his last. They sat side by side, cross-legged and hand in hand, gazing out over the restless ocean. And there, with the setting sun shimmering around them, Rey asked Ben the question she’d been wanting to ask him for a long time.

“What happened on Kef Bir? You’ve never talked about it."

Slowly, he began to speak.

“I felt my mother’s presence like she was standing beside me. She reached out from the other side of the galaxy to be with me and to make me know her love - unearned, undeserved, but more certain than anything I’ve ever known.

“Before I was the Supreme Leader, before I was Kylo Ren, before I was Luke’s troubled pupil, before all that and through all that, I have always been _her son_. She reached out to let me feel that. To remind me who I am. That’s why I stopped.

“I’ve chosen the darkness many times. I thought the Light had abandoned me. It _should_ have abandoned me. But in that moment I knew my mother loved me just as much as she ever had.” He turned to look at her. “And after you left…”

After Rey had stabbed him, then healed him, then left him alone on the wreckage of the Death Star. She remembered her confusion of emotions, the grief and the pain, and the tiny flicker of hope that Ben might come back to her after all. She had fled because she didn’t dare stay; she couldn’t get entangled with him again. She had to leave him to make his choice on his own.

“After you left, I remembered how my father had come to find me on Starkiller Base, how he had come to bring me home. They never gave up on me. I saw again who I could be. And somehow, I found the strength to do what I needed to do. I threw my lightsaber into the sea and left Kylo Ren behind.”

“And you came to me on Exegol.”

“And I came to you on Exegol. I couldn’t let you face Palpatine alone.”

“I owe you my life.”

“As I owe you mine.”

They sat together as the light faded, gazing out to sea, as the sun set behind the horizon and their final day on Ahch-To came to an end.

***

By some unspoken agreement, they didn’t return to the _Millennium_ _Falcon_ that night. Instead they made their way to the hut where they had first touched hands, and which they had rebuilt stone by stone with those same hands. They both knew this might be the last time Ben would ever be free.

Rey built a fire while Ben prepared their meal. Then they wrapped themselves in blankets and ate side by side on the floor of the hut. The baked fish burned their mouths and warmed them from the inside out, chasing away the last of the night’s chill that hadn’t been banished by the fire.

Ben pushed his blanket back from his shoulders and shifted from his cross-legged position, hugging one knee to his chest. He was flushed with warmth and food after a long day’s labour outside, and Rey imagined she was too. She shuffled back from the fire a little, and pressed the water canister to her face to cool her burning cheeks.

Ben was gazing into the fire, watching the flames leap and dance. He looked calm, but Rey sensed an agitation that mimicked the fire’s restlessness.

“Are you afraid to go back?” she asked him, setting the canister down beside her.

“Yes. I almost wish I could stay here.” He sighed, and a puff of ash rose from the embers. Their eyes followed it. “But I know I have to return.”

“We don’t have to.” The thought had been hovering on the edge of her consciousness all evening, and it suddenly leapt into life. “We could run, fly across the stars together. For the rest of our lives just be you and me.” Even as she said it she knew that neither of them would ever choose that.

Ben turned to her, eyes filled with longing. “Don’t tempt me, Rey. You’re supposed to be the sensible one.”

“When did we decide that?”

“You’ve always been the sensible one. You’ve always been wise. I’m only beginning to learn wisdom. But I know that right now, wisdom means going back.” He smiled, a little regretfully. “Besides, you don’t mean it.”

Rey sighed. “No. I suppose I don’t. I just…I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.” 

Ben took her hand and enfolded it in his, filling her with his warmth and strength. “Maybe it won’t be forever. You had that vision of us both with the lightsabers, didn’t you?”

“I’ve been wrong about visions before,” she reminded him. “So have you.”

“We’ve come a long way since then.”

Rey smiled at him. “We have. All the way back here.”

She moved closer, and Ben raised his free hand to her face. His dark eyes were full of wonder as his fingers traced her laughter lines and the curve of her mouth. “Back then we thought we knew each other.”

She finished his thought. “Now we know we do."

Rey lifted her face to Ben’s. He bent and kissed her, and as their lips met, he spoke though their bond the truth of their dyad.

_We live or die together._

***

Back on the _Millennium_ _Falcon_ the next morning, they readied the ship and prepared for takeoff. In the co-pilot’s seat Ben rested his hand on the controls for a moment. “Be nice to me, old girl. I’m going back to where I need to be.”

Whether the _Falcon_ was listening or not, their departure was much smoother than Rey’s arrival, and they were soon on their way back to Ajan Kloss. As they were about to begin their approach, Rey and Ben looked at each other.

“Here we are again,” Rey said quietly.

“Here we are.”

She took his hand and squeezed it tight. “May the Force be with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: As Ben stands trial for his past actions, he and Rey stand on the threshold of their future. 
> 
> A/N: Not long after TROS was released, I read “Ritual & Reflection” by QueenoftheTARDIS (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117210). The idea of Rey returning to Ahch-To and putting things right stayed with me, and emerged in what became this fic. I recommend checking it out!


	5. The Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ben stands trial for his past actions, he and Rey stand on the threshold of their future.

Eighteen months after the Battle of Exegol, following a long period of complex negotiations, the trial of Ben Solo finally began.

As agreed, Finn had taken the lead on matters relating to Ben's imprisonment, but when it came to this, he and Poe negotiated with the Republic together as co-generals of the Resistance. It wasn’t just Ben who would meet his fate - most of the surviving senior officers of the First Order would face the justice of the Republic in a series of trials that were expected to last months.

The courts convened in the old Republic capital of Coruscant. Ben was brought there in an armoured transport with Finn at the head of his guard, while Rey, Poe and Rose travelled with other members of the Resistance on a more comfortable ship.

The mood on board was sombre. Not only would these trials determine the fates of the enemies they had fought for so long, they were also the first step towards the eventual disbanding of the Resistance. They all knew that, as a private militia, the Resistance couldn’t continue to exist for much longer now that their enemies had been defeated. Included in the agreement Poe and Finn had reached with the Republic were certain commitments to work towards demilitarisation, and Poe had announced his intention to stand for public office in the fullness of time.

As they approached Coruscant, Rey looked out of the viewport and shivered. She had heard of the former glories of the Republic capital. According to the stories and the images she'd seen, the entire planet had once been covered by a thriving city. Marred by poverty and crime, as most cities were to a greater or lesser extent, it had nevertheless been vibrant and prosperous. 

Now most of the planet lay grey and lifeless, littered with the derelict hulks of abandoned buildings that had been deserted during the Empire, or in the earlier years of the New Republic. Now only a small part of the planet’s surface glowed with habitation.

It filled Rey with a sudden sharp longing for Ahch-To.

***

Rey was allowed a few moments alone with Ben before the trial. As soon as the cell door slid shut behind her, she went to his arms and kissed him. She buried her face in his chest and he rested his chin on her head, arms tight around her.

She looked up at him. “This isn’t the end,” she said earnestly. “Whatever happens, this isn’t the end.”

“I know, Rey. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but that I do know.” Ben laid a hand against her cheek and she turned her face to his palm, closing her eyes. “Besides,” he said. “It can’t be that bad. We know the worst won’t happen.”

One of the conditions of handing Ben over to the Republic was that the death penalty would not be used in any of the cases to be tried. Poe had insisted on this. He had said it was for the sake of the galaxy - he couldn’t condone starting this new chapter of the Republic by resurrecting the death penalty, unused for decades but still technically legal. But Rey knew it was for his sake too: even if he wanted them all dead, Poe wouldn’t be ruled by the desire for revenge.

So, in reality, the outcome of the trials was a foregone conclusion. They would all be found guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment. But what form that imprisonment would take was for the courts to decide.

He bent and kissed her again. “Remember, Rey, whatever happens, we live or die together.”

She found she could smile. “We live or die together.”

***

Ben stood alone in the dock.

One by one they read out the charges against him, and one by one he pleaded guilty to them all.

The process took several hours. It seemed to Rey that they had broken his crimes down into the most minute sub-crimes, and she felt each one like a stab in her chest. At first Ben’s features were composed and his voice level. But as the charges dragged on, he began to grow visibly distressed, and his voice wavered.

By this time, tears were streaming down Rey’s face, and it took everything she had not to somersault out of the gallery where she sat with Finn, Poe and Rose, and join Ben in the dock. Poe had impressed on her the importance of remaining calm during the trial. Some people already had their suspicions about the precise nature of the relationship between the soon-to-be-condemned former Supreme Leader and the Resistance hero who had brought him in, and it wouldn’t do to feed any rumours. Rey kept herself still with extreme effort, but there was nothing she could do to stop the tears.

When the long list of charges had finally been read out, the court was adjourned for the jury to deliberate. Although there was no doubt over the verdict, due to the number of charges this would still take some time, and the jury might need some guidance from the judges regarding precedent.

In the end, they had to wait a full day before the court was called back into session. Rey passed two sleepless nights and an anxious day. She wasn’t allowed to see Ben - she hadn’t expected to be - and try as she might to reach him through their bond, she didn’t manage it. She knew he must be reaching out to her too, but they still hadn’t mastered the ability to reliably initiate these encounters.

Her friends gave her space. She spent most of her time at an abandoned building not far from where they were all staying, working out, training with lightsaber and staff, and trying to meditate. At night one of them came to fetch her, and she humoured them by eating something before retiring for a restless night.

***

The trial was reconvened, and she found that Ben looked better than she felt. He stood in silence as the charges were read out again, and he was found guilty of every one.

The senior judge stood. She was a middle aged Twi’lek whose grey court robes contrasted oddly with her scarlet skin, and she levelled her stony gaze at Ben.

“Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, you stand convicted of a string of crimes so abhorrent that your name will live on in history as a byword for evil. Violence, kidnappings, torture, murders, accessory to genocide: for years you terrorised our galaxy.

“Now your tyranny has come to an end, but the suffering you have caused lives on. Republic citizens need fear you no longer, but the physical and psychological wounds you have inflicted may never heal. 

“The court wishes it formally recorded that had the death penalty been available, it would without question have been applied. As it is, the court has no hesitation in applying the highest penalty available.

“Ben Solo, you are hereby sentenced to life imprisonment without parole.”

***

It was the result they had all expected, but it still hit Rey very, very hard. She knew Ben was guilty of everything, and she knew the trauma he had been through in no way lessened his guilt, but she felt it was deeply, deeply unfair that no mention had even been made of the pain he had experienced.

What made matters worse was that Poe had made it very clear that the Republic would grant no further requests to see him for some time, and that trying to pursue this would risk compromising the Resistance’s position. Despite her grief and frustration Rey could see his point, and, though it cost her, she conceded.

She and Ben spoke through their bond when they were able to reach each other in the Force, but it was still no substitute to being in each others’ presence. She had no idea when she would next be able to see him, or even where he would be imprisoned. Discussions over this were dragging on without seeming to grow any closer to a conclusion.

***

Eventually the time came for Rey and her friends to return to Ajan Kloss. As an initial move towards the disbanding of the Resistance, most of the ships and weapons were to be relocated to other, smaller bases, and Poe and Finn would set up a non-military headquarters in a location as yet to be determined. All the Resistance leaders were needed to supervise the operation, and Rey knew she needed to resume regular contact with her emerging group of Force sensitives, that she had somewhat neglected while on Coruscant.

“Do one thing for me,” said Ben through their bond, shortly after their imminent departure had been announced. “Build your lightsaber. Don’t wait for me.”

Rey’s kyber crystal lay where it had been since their return from Ahch-To, nestled with Ben’s in a little bag she wore round her neck. She could have told which was hers and which was Ben’s with her eyes closed, even if they hadn’t been different shapes. Her crystal felt like a natural extension of herself, while touching Ben’s was like putting a hand on his arm.

She hadn’t yet made any move to start building her lightsaber. She wanted so badly for her and Ben to build their lightsabers side by side, and building hers alone felt like a declaration that he would never be free.

But as Ben said those words, she knew he was right: the time had come. And, strangely, it didn’t feel like a betrayal now. She clung to the vision she had had of her and Ben wielding their lightsabers together somewhere she didn’t recognise - but was definitely not a prison cell.

And so, as their ship left Coruscant and Ben behind, she turned to Rose. “I’m ready to build my lightsaber. Will you still help me?”

Rose smiled. “As if you had to ask.”

***

They set up a makeshift workshop in the shadow of the _Falcon_ \- it seemed somehow the fitting thing to do. Rey and Rose found they had learnt more than they realised from repairing Luke’s lightsaber, and they made good progress.

They built the hilt from part of her staff. It felt strange to take apart the weapon and support that had seen her through so much, from her isolated scavenger days on Jakku, through her time fighting with the Resistance against the First Order, to her time on Ahch-To repairing the damage she had caused. But in making her lightsaber, the mark of her identity as a warrior-disciple of the Force, she wanted it to be grounded in who she had been long before she had ever learnt such things were more than myths.

Inside the hilt she placed her kyber crystal, given as a gift by the Caretaker on Ahch-To. Ben’s crystal remained in the pouch round her neck; having it close to her heart softened some of the pain of his absence. 

For a brief, precious time their bond activated. Ben stood by her side unseen by the others, and she was sure they would all notice the way her smile widened and her heart swelled at the love and pride in his eyes. 

Finn spent a lot of time with Rey and Rose, watching closely and asking questions, evidently thinking of the time when he would make his own lightsaber. BB-8 and D-0 never left their side. Others came and went, casting curious glances as they passed by, or lingering to watch.

Rey later learnt that it was customary for Jedi to build their lightsabers in a state of solitary meditation, but she couldn’t help thinking that this way was better.

When their work was completed, Rose handed her the finished lightsaber and stepped back. A cluster of onlookers had gathered around them, and now Rey stood in a clear space surrounded by her friends and comrades. They stood with her in expectant silence.

Rey ignited her lightsaber - _hers_ , truly hers - and the blade’s glow filled her heart with joy and delight. It was yellow - golden like the dawn over the seas of Ahch-To, the balance between day and night. It had been made following the guidance of the Force, with the help of her friends. It came from her past and her present, and would be with her throughout her future.

It was perfect.

***

One afternoon Poe and Finn summoned Rey to their office. She entered to find them looking very grave. She seated herself across from them, wondering what she was in for.

She didn’t know what she was expecting, but Poe’s question wasn’t it. “How many times have you been to Ahch-To?”

Startled, she took a moment to reply. “Three. Once to find Luke, once just before Exegol, and once to find my kyber crystal.”

“You and Chewie, are you the only people who know where it is?”

Where was this leading? “Us, R2 and BB-8, yes. Others saw the map on D’kar, but there’s no way anyone could find it from that.”

“Could anyone stumble across it if they weren’t looking for it?”

“No chance. They’d be sucked into a black hole or vaporised in a nebula before they got anywhere near. There’s a reason Luke chose it as a place to hide. What’s this about?”

Poe and Finn exchanged a glance. “We want to talk to you about Ben,” said Finn.

The tiniest speck of hope blossomed deep inside her, but she didn’t dare pursue the thought. “What about him?”

“He’s been sentenced to life imprisonment,” continued Finn, “but the normal Republic prisons aren’t suitable. He’s too much of a target for too many people.”

Poe counted them off on his fingers. “First Order zealots who want to break him out. First Order zealots who want to kill him for betraying them. Plenty of others who think imprisonment is far too lenient a sentence. Really, there’s no end to the list.”

“So what are you saying?” She thought she knew, but she had to hear it from them.

“If Ahch-To is genuinely unfindable, and there’s no way off the island,” said Finn, “then we think it might be the best place for his imprisonment.”

Rey stared at them. She’d told them all about Ahch-To, and how through their bond Ben had stepped out of his cell onto the island. She’d explained what she and Ben now both realised, that if one of them was in the Ahch-To temple and one of them was elsewhere, either one could travel to where the other was, though they wouldn’t be able to go back. They surely knew the implications of what they were suggesting.

“What will the Republic think?”

“We won’t tell them,” said Poe. “At least not everything. We’ll tell them he’s going to be imprisoned in a classified location, and that will have to be enough. We’ll have to tell some of the senior leaders of course, but I think they’ll agree. From their perspective they’ll probably prefer it to a conventional prison - he won’t exactly have a comfortable life on Ahch-To.”

“What do you think, Rey?” Finn was watching her closely.

“I can see that it solves a difficult problem. But I’m not sure I can be objective. I think you know why I would support this.”

“Let’s not talk about that.”

Rey’s suspicions were confirmed. Her friends knew exactly what they were doing, and were tacitly giving her their approval.

“And you think the Republic will agree?”

“We do,” said Poe. “It’s not definite, I know, and it might take a while, but I think we’ll get there. But Rey - I don’t think you should mention this to Ben until it’s confirmed. We need to do things properly.”

“I can’t keep this from him. I can’t. Please.”

Finn and Poe looked at each other again. “All right. But he can’t give anyone reason to think he knows something, understand? And neither can you,” warned Poe.

Sure enough, she realised she’d been smiling. She schooled her expression to calm again. “I understand.”

She understood that she could finally be with Ben.

***

And so Ben began his exile on Ahch-To.

Rey and Chewie flew him there on the _Falcon_. It was a mostly silent journey. Chewie remained extremely hostile to Ben: Ben had murdered Han and caused the deaths of Luke and Leia, and the Wookiee was unmoved by his obvious remorse.

Rey wished the two of them could reconcile, but she could in no way fault Chewie. She had forgiven Ben, but she knew neither she nor Ben had any right to expect anyone else to.

A cluster of lanai watched from a distance as the three travellers descended the ramp. Their white habits flapped in the ever-present wind as they stood in silence on a rocky outcrop.

Out of respect for her Wookiee friend, Rey kept her leave-taking with Ben suitably formal. They knew it wouldn’t be long before they saw each other again, and so their parting didn’t have the sting that it might once have done.

Legally it was an imprisonment, but it felt like Ben was being set free.

***

With Finn and Poe’s knowledge and unspoken permission, and in the utmost secrecy from the world outside, Rey made regular visits to Ben. And if he occasionally disappeared into thin air and had to be smuggled back on to the island, well, no one was to know except the Caretakers, and they didn’t seem to mind. They accepted Rey’s presence and Ben’s sporadic disappearances as part of the natural order of life on Ahch-To.

Rey continued to lead and nurture what some had referred to as a new Jedi Order, though there was as yet little formal structure to the nebulous group of Force sensitives and non-Force sensitives that was continuing to develop. She supposed “Jedi” was as good a word as any to describe them, though the definition had to be widened to include Force users of many kinds, those who were sensitive to the leading of the Force but didn’t exhibit any of the usual powers, and non-Force sensitives who simply followed many of the Jedi teachings.

Ben took a great interest in this, and they both longed for a time when he might be able to join them. Rey couldn’t tell what the future held for her and Ben, but she hadn’t forgotten her vision, and she had the feeling the Force had more in store for them than they or anyone else guessed.

“Are you happy, Ben?” she asked him one night as she lay in his arms.

He smiled his slow smile that always made her heart turn over. “More than that, Rey. I’m at peace. I never thought I would be, and I don’t deserve it, but I am.” He brushed his fingers down her cheek. “And you?”

“I’m happy _and_ at peace.”

He tightened his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “I should think so too.”

***

The _Millennium Falcon_ flew low over the deserts of Tatooine. It took them some time to find it - the sand-coloured hut in a sea of sand - but eventually they touched down near to the homestead where Luke had grown up.

Dressed in pale desert gear instead of their customary greys, Rey and Ben stepped out onto the ramp. The heat hit Rey like a punch to the stomach, for a moment taking her breath away. In a few short years it seemed her body had forgotten the desert, adapting instead to a changing selection of jungles, seas, forests and more. Happily, they weren’t planning on staying here long enough for her to readjust.

They set out towards the homestead, BB-8 rolling along beside them. They kept their pace steady; it didn’t do to hurry in the desert.

The domed hut that marked the entrance was piled halfway up the walls with sand, and sand covered the courtyard below to a depth she couldn’t guess from up here. A glint of metal caught her eye, and she cleared away the sand to find a piece of scrap metal.

Memories stirred, and for the fun of it she brushed off the scratched and battered sheet and slid on it down the slope to the hut. She grinned up at Ben, who shook his head at her antics, and followed her on foot in a distinctly less graceful fashion.

They looked around. Nearly forty years had passed since the homestead had last been inhabited, yet from appearances it could have been abandoned just a few years ago. Rey knew how capricious the shifting sands could be: the storm that covered a village could reveal a tomb that had been hidden for centuries.

Rey had heard about Luke’s early years from Leia and Ben. He had been raised on this homestead by his aunt and uncle, watched over from afar by Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, his father’s one-time master and his nephew’s eventual namesake.

Rey knew Luke had resented the narrow confines of his upbringing, and that his constant pushing against boundaries had been an ongoing source of conflict between him and his uncle, and to a lesser extent his aunt. But she got the impression that he had since their deaths learnt to value the love and stability they had given him, and to realise that they had provided him with something he might not otherwise have had: a normal childhood.

Back outside, Rey and Ben set about what they had come here to do. Kneeling down opposite each other, they took out Luke and Leia’s lightsabers and laid them carefully on a piece of cloth between them.

Now Finn had built his own lightsaber he no longer had any need of Luke or Leia’s, and they all - Finn, Ben and Rey - felt that it was time to lay their mentors’ sabers to rest. The twins had been separated for too long during life, and now they had become one with the Force it seemed right for their sakes to keep their lightsabers together. 

It had been difficult to decide where to leave them, and in all honesty nowhere had felt quite right, but in the end they had settled on the Tatooine homestead. Luke had been happy here, even if he hadn’t always realised it, and it was the final resting place of Anakin’s beloved mother Shmi, the first Skywalker.

They also wanted to honour the long and faithful service of Luke’s three guardians: Owen, Beru and Obi-Wan. They had given nearly two decades of their lives to keep Luke safe, and had all in the end paid the ultimate price. The galaxy owed them a great debt, though few people even knew their names.

Rey folded the lightsabers up in the cloth, and Ben tied the bundle up neatly with a leather cord. Closing their eyes, they both put out a hand and reached out in the Force.

The desert stretched out around them. It might seem lifeless and empty, but in the Force Rey and Ben could feel every tiny oasis, every hardy creature that eked out an existence on and in the sand, every tiny seed that lay buried, awaiting the once in a generation rain shower that would cause the desert to bloom.

Filled with the knowledge all this life, they drove the lightsabers deep into the sand, past the graves of Shmi and the Lars, past the ruins of the city that had lain buried for millennia, past the bones of the colossal beasts that had roamed Tatooine before any sentient had laid claim to it.

Finally, the sabers reached the silent, hidden bedrock of the planet, and there they came to rest. The sands poured in behind them, and in a few heartbeats there was no sign they had ever been there.

Rey and Ben rested for a moment in the satisfaction of a job well done, then helped each other up, stumbling a little in the shifting sand. Then without speaking they took out their own lightsabers, heavy and reassuring in their palms, and inarguably _theirs_. In unison they ignited them, and twin yellow blades stretched up towards the sky.

“There’s been no one for so long.”

They quickly deactivated their lightsabers. They’d been so intent on the task in hand that they hadn’t sensed the approach of the old woman who now stood scrutinising them.

Her face was wrinkled and burnt brown from a life in the sun, and she led a long-legged pack animal, which, unlike its owner, seemed completely unconcerned by the presence of the strangers. How long had she been watching, and how much had she seen?

“Who are you?”

“I’m Rey.”

This didn’t seem enough. “Rey who?”

Rey and Ben both felt it, the approach of the familiar presences. They looked over to see, almost invisible in the desert’s glare, the blue-ish figures of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, glowing in the Force. They were smiling, and from them radiated such a sense of peace and approval that Rey and Ben knew they had done the right thing in bringing the lightsabers to Tatooine.

Rey smiled, and gave her answer. “Rey Skywalker.”

The old lady nodded, seeming to find this satisfactory, and turned her attention to Ben.

“And you?”

Ben took Rey’s hand.

“Ben Skywalker.”

She smiled up at him. As Maz had predicted so long ago, she had found the belonging she had sought - with her friends, with the new Jedi, and with Ben. Forever.

They lived or died together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> The idea of Rey building lightsaber with Rose’s help, surrounded by her friends, came from alexirrhoe’s lovely fic “and here you are living, despite it all” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22115425)
> 
> Thank you for reading! I found it really helpful to work through some Rey/Ben and TROS things by writing this, so thank you for sharing it with me :)

**Author's Note:**

> Next time: As the Resistance tries to work out what to do with the former Supreme Leader, Rey and Ben wrestle with who they are, where they belong, and what they are to each other.


End file.
